"The Truth Behind SweetGyrl"

2009-09-09T16:27:00.003-05:00

BOOK LAUNCH 1/2010

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE PROGRAM

http://nasahm.com
http://ialm.biz

2009-06-06T22:51:00.003-05:00

Listen to a sample Coaching Session with Destiny & Kimberly!

2009-06-06T13:33:00.010-05:00

SweetGyrl, Inc.
Officially "presents" Destiny!
A Future America's NEXT TOP MODEL.

I have the honor of presenting her to the World as an "Official Member of the:

"SweetGyrl Sorority Junior Celebrity Club"

FAMOUS POETRY BY "DESTINY"

1. CHANGE

Through love and pain

Its all the same

I tend to hide

And throw away my pride

Once was a scared little child

That was in denial

Thought that I wasn't loved

Till god sent help from above

Im delicate like a flower

Was given love like spring showers

Which helped me live and grow

And now Imma let it show

I felt like no one understood me

like i was invisible and no one could see

the pain that i had

that was breaking me and making me sad

But then god gave me Kim who showed me the way

Of happiness and love and shes here to stay

no more holding back im letting my feelings show

as the love and caring tends to grow.

2.MOM

Through thick and thin you were there

To help me through the pain i couldn't bare

you showed you cared and loved me

and now i can see

When theres darkness theres always light

And no matter what it always shines bright

even though i was in pain

and would drive you insane

You kept nit real and still cared for me

You showed me how life could be

glad your here to guide me

with your love i feel free

I dont know what i would do without you

Youre always kind and true

just like a mom should be

i hope that you could see

i only say this to a few

mommy i love you!

3.BEST FRIEND...

Through thick and thin

we're strong within

The tears i cry

are the ones you dry

you're my best friend

till the end

when times get tough

youre just enough

to make me glad

and never sad

you're always on my mind

you're one of a kind

when i needed a hand

you would always understand

i could always count on you

because our friendship was true

i always had your back

and you know that for a fact

because were best friends

till the end

2009-06-06T13:09:00.003-05:00

SWEETGYRL IS OFFICIALLY BACK!!

We are launching a new program for Mom's and Daughters!

Also I have officially starting writing the book,
" The Truth Behind SweetGyrl"

I have decided to take matters into my own hands, and start a program designed to heal the wounds between mom's and daughters. It's all over, when you pick up the news, where you have the very public rival and bitterness between the Spelling women. It goes on, it simply does not matter what, class, socio - economic status your in, there seems to be some sort of "unhealthy" darkness between mom's and daughters.

I am delighted to have taken on a couple of new coaching clients to work with! My teen Gyrls! I am happy to be using my story, my skills, and my presence, to help teen girls shift from deviant behaviors, to positive ones.

Stanby its coming in the next post!!

2009-03-19T22:21:00.004-05:00

WE ARE BACK! WOW, folks, its been quite some time since we did a posting. I remember in 2007, there was not a day that went by, that I was not blogging! Well Life happened, actually tons of stuff has happened. I don't know where to start! What I can say is, the last time I really really was writing to you guys, I was living in Montgomery County Maryland. I am now happily living in the Great State of California! (Again), after a 13 year haitus!

I love it here. I am truly blessed to be able to be given a second chance to be where my soul sings, and the opportunities are endless. My son is now in College, yes I am a very proud mom. As for me, I am in "ME" mode.

What do I mean by that? Well I am finding myself again. I feel like I got a second chance at life again. I am truly looking at "who" I am and where I am taking my life from here on out. I do know this for sure. I am more than determined to help young gyrls, and women, truly learn to LOVE, RESPECT, HONOR and APPRECIATE themselves. This is an important skill that they must learn to have in order to be successful in life and make the right decisions when it comes to choosing partners.

It is important for many young women to understand who they are and what they want, for themselves, and to learn who they are OUTSIDE, of what society tells them, thier mom, or dad or freinds tell them. In my years of working as a teacher and therapist, I have noticed that the girls today, HAVE NOT BEEN TAUGHT How to LOVE THEMSELVES. That is quite surpising! Then again its not, I look back and I realize for my own life it was not something I was taught. I learned how to do that, LATER LATER in life, after many falls, mistakes, trials and tribulations, I am finally learning to REALLY REALLY LIKE ME.

I am on a mission to teach young women the same. So, stay tuned....

2008-03-25T16:46:00.004-05:00

TEEN GYRLS AND STD'S SAFE SEX? OR
ABSTINENCE?

Sound Off: Half of Black Teen Girls Has an STD???
Posted Mar 18th 2008 3:15PM by Angela BronnerFiled under: BlackSpin, Lifestyle, health
By Angela Bronner, BlackVoices.com

Last Tuesday, the Centers for Disease Control released a study that found that one in four young women or 3.2 million teenage girls is infected with a sexually transmitted disease.
The kicker is, according to the study, nearly half of African American girls (or 48%) in this age group has least one of the following: the human papillomavirus (HPV), chlamydia, herpes, or trichomoniasis, with HPV leading the charge.

Yes, that's right, according to the CDC -- one out of every two African American girls ages 14-19 has an STD. The report, sponsored by the CDC and conducted by the NCHS (National Center for Health Statistics), took a national sample of 838 young women. The study did not include the STDs syphilis, HIV or gonorrhea. In a word, this is alarming.
Does this mean that if there are 20 tenth graders at a bus stop, say, the cheerleading squad at an all black high school -- that 10 of them has HPV?

In a word, no, or not necessarily, according to Dr. Stuart Berman, Chief of Epidemiology and Surveillances, STDs at the Centers for Disease Control.
"Put in context, you take a sample, but a sample done in a smart way, so you can extrapolate the data," Dr. Berman explains. "What this study says, is that this is a problem for the country. It's your kid, my kid, the neighbor across the street."

Berman further cautions not to take these results and stigmatize teens, young black women, or by default, young black men, who are most likely their sexual partners.
"These things can be stigmatizing but [loose sexual behavior] is not the reason [for the higher rates]," he says. "Once the community risk is higher, even if your behavior is not higher, the chances are greater."

The doctor says social and economic factors such as access to care, low or no health insurance, incarceration, and racism, all add up.
"There's an aggregate of a whole bunch of community factors, each doing a little bit, making it a little more prevalent," says Dr. Berman. The key to making any inroads into this problem, says the good doctor, is to have frank, and honest discussions with our kids.

"A lot of kids think, 'He she looks healthy,' 'I'm in love' 'He or she doesn't have any symptoms' and therefore are not at risk. Who is talking to them?"The two most common STDs in the study -- HPV, and chlamydia -- may not show any symptoms.
The most contagious of these infections, the human papillomavirus, HPV, or genital warts, is responsible for 70% of all cervical cancers. Black women are at least 50% more likely to die from cervical cancer than white women.

HPV and chlamydia are in fact treatable; also, that there is now an HPV vaccine against the virus. The CDC also reported on results from pilot programs in New York City and California, where the agency found that if you test for STDs where young women get care for other gynecological issues such as pregnancy tests, emergency contraceptives (and I would add abortions) – all of which assume unprotected intercourse -- we can begin to stem the tide.
The agency recommends annual chlamydia screenings for sexualy active women under age 25 and vaccination against HPV for young women and girls between the ages of 11 and 26.

"It's like that show 'Hill Street Blues," says Dr. Berman, who laughs as he says he is dating himself with that reference. "We have to tell our kids, you have to be careful out there."
Sound off.

2007-11-11T17:00:00.001-05:00

BREAKING NEWS!

According to 93.7 Hartford, CT station, Hip Hop Artist Kanye West Mother apparantly passed away last night in Chicago Ill, No further information was given. Tell a someone you love them today.

2007-10-30T18:33:00.000-05:00

Since my last post, I have had the wonderful opportunity to start working as an Editor for She-Unlimited Magazine, http://www.sheunlimited.com/ as well as a Special Education Inclusion Teacher. I have had many experiences since my last posts and many revelations.

I have com to realize that Learning Disabilities are rampant, but I am wondering if they are disabilities or gifted children that learn differently.

Since my last post, I have been tested (Educationally) found out that I had a from of Dyslexia, Developmental Opthamology, and ADHD.

It was a shock but then again not, It really put some thins in perspective for me. It help me understand why I suffered so badly in school and what the root cause of me and my mom's problems were from childhood. Never mind the fact that my mom has major control issues and needs counseling herself (refuses to go) she says "The Lord will work it out." However It help me realize I was not so messed up after all! I could not figure out for the life of me why I had to work so much harder and struggle so much.

Well since the post me and suffering broke up, struggling and I parted way amongst many other things.

More tomorrow!

2007-10-30T11:23:00.000-05:00

ITS BEEN A WHILE, BUT I AM BACK! THANK GOODNESS, SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED AND I AM EXITED ABOUT IT. I HAVE MUCH TO SHARE! STAY TUNED!!

2007-07-13T12:03:00.001-05:00

Why Hate the Other Gyrl? Program
At SweetGyrl we offer real world scenarios. In today's society gyrls are often geared toward hating and being mean to each other. We offer Peace Circles for Gyrls to be able to see how much they have in common.

Growing up as a teen Kimberly met many oppositions by so-called friends. So-called friends meaning they acted like they liked her, however betrayal was waiting, or they hated the way she dressed, or they hated her personality, or she could not be herself. Therefore in order to fit in, Kimberly as a teen she adopted the attitude of the wrong people.

Many Gyrls fall into this trap, in society it is taught to live a mask, being yourself or unique is not permissible, its not ok. Gyrls are not taught to Love themselves, therefore, if they are around another gyrl that they feel is a threat, they punish her. Is this retarded or what!!

"I have been a victim of the player haters mentality so much, I got tired of fighting back, instead of getting bitter I chose to get "BETTER" I chose to learn to Love myself, I asked myself what energy or message was I sending off that I kept attracting these kinds of people?? I also learned that I can't change people I can only do me, get to know me, love me, and HEAL ME, and seek people and friends that really had my best interest at heart. At the end of the day, My true friends found me, its incredibly how we have the power to choose our circumstances and friends, but we learn at an early age to live life by default instead of designing it". Kimberly Bowles.

We teach young women to tap into their strengths and find what they are good at and to develop
the habit and do more of what they are good at, therefore we develop a success track in their
mind of excellence!

We offer:
Personality Profile: We allow them to share how much they have in common and share and appreciate their differences!

Passion Test: See what they really really want for themselves, and learn to design what they
want their life to look like.

Brag Book: A collage book of all of their previous accomplishments, and photo album of their
best friends, and people that have positively influenced them.

Learning Style Assessment: How do you communicate? what does it mean if you have a friend
that is a talker and your not? what interpretation do you attach to that? lets explore, you will be
surprised at what you find!!

Contact SweetGyrl today for more Info:

2007-07-13T09:12:00.000-05:00

SweetGyrl's Mission:

We are in the business of helping young women/girls, keep thier minds on the things that mean the most to them. Often time young women get caught up in the hype of Sex, Boys, Smoking weed, ect. Not all but some. We are here to show them, You only have "One Life To Live" and "One Youth". Take this time and "Live it Up" Have fun, focus on your goals, yourself, your dreams, Yes your dreams.

If you have a naysayer about Your dreams, look at the many people out there liveing "Your Dreams". Never take advise from anyone more screwed up than you are. You buy thier advice, You buy thier lifestyle. Learn to love and adore yourselves. When you do that, other people will have ABSOLUTLEY no choice but to LOVE AND ADORE YOU. Spend time with friends, family, and if you must have a boyfriend, that "Celebrates" you not tolerates you!!

I am glad to see that more young people are less sexually active. As teen men, they are not ready for the emotional responsibility or maturity that comes with sex. As young women, your neediness and desire to be loved will not come from that. I am exited about this article.

Teenagers Having Less Sex, Study Finds
By JENNIFER C. KERR,
AP
Posted: 2007-07-13 07:15:37
Filed Under: Health, Nation

WASHINGTON (July 13) - Fewer high school students are having sex these days, and more are using condoms. The teen birth rate has hit a record low.More young people are finishing high school, too, and more little kids are being read to, according to the latest government snapshot on the well-being of the nation's children.

It's good news on a number of key wellness indicators, experts said of the report being released Friday."The implications for the population are quite positive in terms of their health and their well-being," said Edward Sondik, director of the National Center for Health Statistics. "The lower figure on teens having sex means the risk of sexually transmitted diseases is lower."In 2005, 47 percent of high school students - 6.7 million - reported having had sexual intercourse, down from 54 percent in 1991. The rate of those who reported having had sex has remained the same since 2003.

Of those who had sex during a three-month period in 2005, 63 percent - about 9 million - used condoms. That's up from 46 percent in 1991.The teen birth rate, the report said, was 21 per 1,000 young women ages 15-17 in 2005 - an all-time low. It was down from 39 births per 1,000 teens in 1991."This is very good news," said Sondik. "Young teen mothers and their babies are at a greater risk of both immediate and long-term difficulties."The birth rate in the 15-19 age group was 40 per 1,000 in 2005, also down sharply from the previous decade.Education campaigns that started years ago are having a significant effect, said James Wagoner, president of Advocates for Youth, a Washington-based nonprofit group that focuses on prevention of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

"I think the HIV/AIDS epidemic and the efforts in the '80s and '90s had a lot to do with that," Wagoner said of the improved numbers on teen sex , condoms and adolescent births."We need to encourage young teens to delay sexual initiation and we need to make sure they get all the information they need about condoms and birth control," he said.The report was compiled from statistics and studies at 22 federal agencies, and covered 38 key indicators, including infant mortality, academic achievement rates and the number of children living in poverty.

2007-07-08T20:45:00.001-05:00

WHO WE ARE, WHAT WERE ABOUT...

SWEETGYRL OFFERS THE FOLLOWING..

We are a training center . Currently we offer services to one girl per month. One one Coaching..

We offer group coaching and one 2 one.

Career Coaching. Girls today, have really big, big dreams. It's a shame because often time they are around nay sayers or people that say that they can't do.

At SweetGyrl we are here to show you that YOU CAN!! we don't only say you CAN. But we offer, resources, advice, and guidance, as well as linking you with mentors in the related field of work you may be looking to get into.

Dress for Success is important. No one tells you how to take all of your life experiences paid and unpaid, put it on paper and develop a "functional" resume.
We teach and explain the diffrences and purpose in resume formats.

We also show you how to properly fill out an application, not leaving blanks, but filling everything in!! Yes, I know. It's the basics right? But because its the basics, we forget the basic stuff. You have to master the basics before moving on to the big stuff.

How do you dress for an interview? What colors do you wear? What kind of makeup do you wear? Whats appropriate for you nails and shoes? Hmm, sounds like I hit a nerve.

What kind of language do you use during the interview, slang? ebonics? or proper english?

These are just some of the services we offer. Every month we will feature one young lady, from our community. They will get to pilot our services for free. One young lady per month. Then we will expand to the other 5o states.

Stay tuned for our feature young lady!! until then Stay cool!

2007-06-28T12:37:00.000-05:00

This is a very ungrateful young woman, she gets a Lexus at 15 years old for her 16th Birthday, and yells at her mom? Watch Video, what do you think about this?

2007-06-27T17:59:00.001-05:00

OK, This one is just out of control, this group of kids were skateboarding down the street in Arkansas when this cop decided to get all power hungry on them. He chokes out the first kid, chases another, puts a girl and another guy in a headlock, and it's all caught on video. The info is in the post.

read more | digg story

2007-06-27T17:42:00.000-05:00

Many young women feel so alone, when they go through life's issues. I am here to tell you that your not alone. There is help out there and people care. If your being molested or abused. Tell somebody, a counselor, a best friend, a minister. Find somebody and report it. Your not alone. Your unique, your special and your truly loved! Enjoy..

2007-06-26T17:02:00.000-05:00

Tareyah

I had the wonderful opportunity to Interview the Founder/CEO of Black Girl Fame!! Please read the below Interview, This is is a powerful young lady!! Tareyah, I am so happy with what she is doing for our young women in the Entertainment Industry. Girl Power~~

Tell me more about Black Girl Fame?

Black Girl Fame is a website which supports and promotes young, underrated and Black famous entertainers. The site currently features over 65 girls and we're still growing. What prompted you to start the company/site? I wanted to see more support for young Black entertainers. I knew that if I wanted to see a change I had to do something to make it happen. So, I decided to start Black Girl Fame.

Is it only you or is there a partner?

Well, I'd like to say it's a group effort. I have a team of administrators who work on the site with me and there are many members and parents who help out with the site by contributing news, articles, pictures etc. I am the founder and Super Administrator but the site couldn't have achieved the success it has thus far without the help of all I've mentioned.

How long have you been doing this?

I started Black Girl Fame as a small message board in November 2004 then decided I wanted to go further with it and make it into a website. The site opened in April 2005 and I've been doing it since then.

What kinds of feedback have you been getting as far as the obstacles that Black girls encounter trying to be in the Entertainment business?

Well, it's harder for young Black girls to get quality roles that represent them in a positive way. There aren't many roles, especially lead roles written for them and when there are, the majority of them are built around stereotypes. There's also a lot of competition as there are so many girls and so few jobs.

What kind of services do you offer?

My site helps to gain a lot of exposure for these girls. We introduce new talents and we post regular updates about them and their upcoming projects so that everyone can know what they're doing. We have profiles on the girls which people use to learn more about what they have done and just who the girls are in general. We also provide things like banners that our visitors can use to promote the girls on other websites so that we can hopefully create a bigger fan base for these girls. We have a forum and a really great community among our members.

Have you been able to get famous actresses to support you in your endeavor on what your trying to do?

Actually, since a lot the girls featured on my website are really young they don't directly help out but their parents offer a lot of support. They donate money to help keep the site up, they refer other talents to us and the girls themselves promote our site. It's also the parents who help us keep the site going by contributing news, pictures and things like that; they are very supportive of the motives behind the site and are usually very pleased to learn that their daughters are part of it. I am blessed to have a lot of support! If so who? We've been very fortunate to have contact with so many of the girl we feature. They include; Keke Palmer, Tiffany Evans, Rhyon Nicole Brown, Chelsea Tavares, McClain Sisters ("Daddy's Little Girls"), Parker McKenna Posey, Ashley Monique Clark - and the list goes on.

What are your passions/dreams?

My passion is supporting my people! I have so many goals that I want to accomplish but my main focus at the moment is getting a better education for myself. One of my many dreams is to start a Non-Profit Organization geared towards helping young Black people do something more positive with their lives and become more successful. I'd like to teach them things about the entertainment business as well as teaching them to support one another along the way. Those are just a few of the things I want my organization to offer.

What do you hope to accomplish from this?

There are many things that I'd like to accomplish from the site. I want to encourage other Blacks to support Blacks. I feel that it's the only way that we can really make a change. If we don't support our own people, no one else will. I've seen firsthand that a lot of times, instead of supporting one another Blacks hate on and try to bring each other down. I feel like this is the main reason why our people aren't making any progress. I think it's time we stop blaming others and take a look at ourselves. It's sad to say, but it's true. Also, I'd love for my site to be used as a tool for casting agencies, where they can come to find out more about new Black talents and eventually I hope that by the girls getting more support and exposure there will be more jobs available to them.

What's next for Black Girl Fame?

Well, I've already started branching out from Black Girl Fame, as we recently opened up our site for boys. It's still fairly new but I hope that one day it will be as successful as Black Girl Fame. As for Black Girl Fame, I just want the site to continue to grow with new talents and become more popular with visitors around the world. Any suggestions/advise for girls out there trying to enter the Entertainment industry? KEEP GOD FIRST and NEVER GIVE UP! I've learned from many of our girls that you have to stay focused and really love what you're doing to make it in the industry. It takes a lot of heart and hard work, but if you want it bad enough, you will make it. I would also say that when your work pays off and you are making your way, I will be here to support you on your journey in the best way I can with my two websites.

2007-06-23T01:37:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to share, I think this is sooo cute. Simple things in life makes me smile.

Duckling And Puppy - Watch a funny movie here

2007-06-11T07:10:00.000-05:00

LETS KEEP BEBE MOORE'S DAUGHTER IN OUR PRAYERS...

Mental Illness among the black community is very real. Many African Americans, deny that they have family with the illnesses. I remember growing up and having seeing my aunt (deceased now) having Bipolar Disorder and dillusions. In our family it was oh, she is crazy, and watching the police take her out and deliver her to a mental hospital, which my family called "The Mad House". It was sad seeing a woman that was once very vibrant and beutiful, gain in excess of 100 lbs, and talk to herself consistently. She was on heavy medications as if though they were tranquilizers, it use to make her very stiff. You could tell when she was off her medication. Just as she started to heal and get better and gain her will to live, She mysteriously died one night after jogging at the age of 32 years old. I knew then that I wanted to enter a field where I could help more people in our community heal, and become more aware of mental illnesses.

MAIA CAMPBELL: Lost & Found???
Posted Jun 7th 2007 3:30PM by Karu F. DanielsFiled under: Entertainment Newswire
By Karu F. Daniels, AOL Black Voices
Call off the A.P.B.!!!

Maia Campbell has been found.
I think. The Missing In Action actress has reportedly surfaced in Los Angeles, reports 'Philadelphia Daily News.' Last month, stories spread like wildfire about the former 'In The House' star and daughter of late best-selling novelist Bebe Moore Campbell skipping town after a Philadelphia-area man filed a police report alleging that she stole his Jeep.
There was also a report that the 30-year-old beauty was present during a recent police sweep of a drug house on the 6300 block of Chew Avenue.

"[She] still manages to keep her nails and feet done and is still very pretty," a West Coast source told the newspaper. "She really needs to go to rehab based off what I saw with my own eyes."
'The News' also noted that Campbell hasn't returned multiple messages left on her cell phone in recent weeks.

Campbell, who also appeared in music videos for Tyrese and Lil' Kim, is believed to be the subject of her mother's last book '72 Hour Hold,' which deals with mentall illness.
In an interview with AOL Black Voices, one of her last, the NAACP Image Award winning author commented, "watching my loved one become violent and an incoherent stranger certainly tested my faith. My very close family member has bipolar disorder, which is a mood disorder - a disease of the brain."

Last year, Campbell became fodder for internet chatroom and black gossip blogs when an alleged videoclip of her naked and singing surfaced.
The "alleged" videoclip is below.

2007-06-10T20:03:00.000-05:00

"DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL"

With the impending fathers day coming up, I have come to realize its a holiday I never really ever celebrated, it was just "another day" to me. I use to feel sometimes left out as if tho I was missing something. Well this fathers day is "special" to me. Reason being, I found and met the man, that "donated a part of himself" to me for procreation purposes. I have also come to realize that I was not missing anything ever. In lieu of meeting him back in January and seeing HIS persona that was played of "OH he is such a nice man, he is so caring, etc etc, and experiencing otherwise, left me with the realization of why I had the issues with "dishonest men"

You see, just because someone is not there, does not mean that their "energy" or "spirit" is not working in your life. When I met him I came to understand why I attracted the kind of men that I did, the spirit of abandonment, the spirit of dishonesty but masking behind honesty. The passive aggressive behavior, words not adding up to actions, bailing out, taking the easy way out. Were all behaviors this man portrayed during the time I met him.

Needless to say I am glad "distanced myself from the negativity" Even up to last week, I still got a call from his wife's cousin portraying to be a friend but reminding me that she will kick my ass because I did not return her phone calls for months. I sat there on the phone for about 30 minutes WHILE THE ANGER WAS BOILING and I listened to this dysfunctional country (ignorant female) throw stones at me. I peacefully got off the phone with her, mind you I HAD TO CURSE HIS DAUGHTER OUT BACK IN APRIL.

I sat down, and I said to myself, boy do I ever get a break? Since I met this man, I have been approached by at least 4 women from his wife's family with drama. I then picked up my phone (blocked my number") and called her back praying that her voice mail would go on, and I said, Hi Seni, its Kimberly, Listen, thanks for offering me your friendship and being nice, but I would appreciate no further communication from you or anyone in Tennessee pertaining to "him" or his wife's family, ITS a conflict of interest and I am simply not interested period.

The drama this man had with him reminded me of high school dating my son's father, and when it was brought to his attention, he found excuses for them and says oh its just a misunderstanding I have known them for years and that's just how they are. Your' taking it wrong, meanwhile the knife is still in your back and the wound is open and bleeding.

So this fathers day, I dedicate to the Lord, and my mom, while we did not have the greatest relationship, she was the only parent I knew. We are still not close, I keep her at bay to stay healthy and healed. Re-injury is important to me to not happen again. However I am grateful that I knew a "PARENT" and I am thankful that I was not raised or involved with "That Man"

The rivalry with myself and his wife's children would have been pitiful.

My brother asked me the other day have you heard from him? I said of course not, my brother said wow, that dude is fowl, too bad you can't sue him for back child support. I said Tim he is an old man that lives with alot of regrets, In the back of his mind he will always regret the fact that he let the woman he marry dictate (as well as him) his life. I told my brother It does not matter I have soo moved on. I have to say my mom was right on this one, she warned me not to put my trust in him, she stated he was an abandoner and take it slow. I thank God I stepped in with two feet and my eyes open.

So to all the REAL FATHERS HAPPY DADS DAY COMING UP, AND TO ALL THE MOTHERS THAT WERE DADS, DOUBLE MOTHER'S AND FATHER'S DAY TO YOU!!

2007-06-09T08:10:00.000-05:00

PARIS ORDERED BACK TO JAIL!!!

Paris cries out as the judge orders her direct return to jail to finish out her 45-day sentence.

PARIS HILTON is back in jail.

ET was inside the courthouse Friday as the judge ordered her to complete her original 45-day sentence -- which prompted a dramatic reaction from the socialite, who wept and screamed out for her mother, "Mom! Mom! No! It's not right!"Paris' parents, KATHY and RICK HILTON, were present in court, as was little sister NICKY, who showed no emotion throughout the swift proceedings.

Paris arrived to court after a Sheriff's squad car picked her up around 10:20 Friday morning at her Hollywood Hills home and escorted her to her court appearance. Wearing a casual grey sweatshirt and pants with her hair pulled back, Paris hugged her mom before being put in handcuffs and getting into the police cruiser. In a press conference Friday afternoon, Sheriff LEE BACA defended his department's actions and declared Paris to be "a low-level offender." As for any preferential treatment, he says her early release was "based on her severe medical problems" and that she went to the correctional treatment center once she returned to jail.

Baca refused to elaborate on Hilton's medical condition, but he did say that he felt "we need a mental health court judge ... to deal with cases just like this.

"On Thursday, Paris was ordered to attend a 9 a.m. hearing Friday at the Hill Street courthouse in downtown L.A. Although earlier, ET learned that Paris would not actually be in the courtroom and would be calling in instead, Judge MICHAEL T. SAUER subsequently ordered she be present in court.L.A. City Attorney ROCKY DELGADILLO, who filed a motion Thursday asking the judge in Paris' case to return her behind bars to serve out her full sentence, released this statement after the judgment:

"This decision sends the message that no individual -- no matter how wealthy or powerful -- is above the law. Today, justice was served."Delgadillo was asking Judge Sauer to hold a hearing to determine why the Sheriff's Department should not be held in contempt of court for violating the judge's court order, having made Paris "leave on electronic monitoring," when the order specifically included the edict, "no electronic monitoring.""I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence," she said in a statement Thursday morning after serving only 73 hours behind bars. "I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes.

"It was at a press conference Thursday that L.A. County Sheriff Spokesperson STEVE WHITMORE told reporters that due to "medical issues," the heiress had been "reassigned" at about 2 a.m. and would finish out her sentence on house arrest. Whitmore told the press Paris would actually be completing her original 45 day sentence, minus 5 days already served: "She's confined to her home for 40 days." He added that she has already been fitted for an electronic monitoring ankle bracelet. Sources close to the Hilton family tell ET the medical reason was actually an extreme rash she developed on her body.

The Therapist in me is asking the question "What if there are Mental Health Issues?" Also even tho I did not agree with the way Paris handled herself at times, I most certainly don't agree with laughing at her or making fun of her, she is clearly in pain. Sometimes the news get's very invasive. I actually saw how brutal they really could be when Anna Nicole Smith died. It was horrible.

This also sends a message to young women to respect themselves and choose who they say are role models to them.

WATCH VIDEO OF REACTION IN COURT ROOM

2007-06-06T08:39:00.000-05:00

I think she looks more like Mary J. Blige. Check this Beyonce Makeover!!

2007-06-01T07:23:00.000-05:00

WHITE'S ARE THE NEW MINORITY? Gen-x is definitly breaking the stereotypes and Norms that the Baby Boom Generation Lived by. If you look at it, more "white guys" are now dating "black girls", the tables are turning from just mainly black guys dating "white girls", and everywhere I turn, more white kids are playing r&b and rap and giving blacks credit for it, more than thier forefathers ever would have.

Slowly but surely time is changing. Now White students are going for "black education". I think its so cool, I totally love it! Halle Berry is dating her "white model boyfriend, "Robin Thicke" being married to a sista, I can't wait for them to do a sitcom. A couple of movies have already been made. The Series "Girlfriends" had Tony married to a white guy. I have to admit, some of the White brothers are fine! LOL..

Black Colleges, Door Open for Whites
By KATRINA A. GOGGINS
AP

Whites Mix With HBCU's
AP
Michael Roberts and his fiancee Marquita Watson pose for a photo on their campus of Benedict College, in Columbia, S.C.

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- Michael Roberts has done more than study finance at historically black Benedict College. He's played football for the college, joined a fraternity and proposed to his girlfriend.Pretty typical, except that Roberts is one of the few whites who attend one of the nation's traditionally black colleges.

"When I tell people I attend Benedict, they comment, 'Well, you're not black,'" Roberts said. "But it's still a school, I'm still getting an education. You don't have to be black to attend."Officials for the nation's historically black schools say Roberts' experience is not that unusual. White students are being actively recruited, and attracting them has become easier for a variety of reasons, including the offer of scholarships and lower tuition's than those paid at non-black schools.

Private, historically black schools cost an average of $10,000 less per year than their traditionally white counterparts, according to the National Association for Equal Opportunity in Higher Education.

Whites at HBCU's
The head of the association says lower costs are not the only thing the schools have to offer. Whites who attend the schools are preparing for an "increasingly black and brown world," said Lezli Baskerville, the association's president and CEO."If you want to know how to live in one, you can't grow up in an all-white neighborhood, go to a predominantly white school, white cultural and social events, go to a predominantly white university and then thrive in a world that is today more black, more brown than before," Baskerville said.

White students say they've taken valuable experiences from their time at black colleges. Skin color, the students say, is much more of a factor away from the campuses than it is on them."You should get to know people based on who they are," Roberts said. "You can't judge a book by its cover."The first of what are now called historically black colleges and universities was Cheyney University in Pennsylvania, which was founded in 1837 so that blacks -- barred from attending many traditional schools -- could get advanced educations. Since then, more than 100 such institutions have been established in the U.S. and about 285,000 students attend the schools each year.

Lawsuits have forced many of the schools -- about half of them are public -- to diversify their student bodies, Baskerville said. In the 2005-06 school year, nearly 10 percent of their students were white, according to her association's data.Scholarships, new programs and recruitment have attracted dozens of whites to schools such as South Carolina State University, where they account for around 4 percent of the student body, said university spokeswoman Erica Prioleau. The school has a minority affairs office for white students, similar to those found for non-white students at traditionally white schools.

A handful of whites attend Atlanta's private Morehouse College. The school hasn't been aggressively recruiting whites, so they make a "conscious decision" to attend, said Sterling Hudson, dean of admissions and records for the college.Steven Schukei did just that. The Morehouse alumnus, who now works as a vice president in technology for New York-based investment firm Goldman Sachs, said he gained a perspective that he wasn't offered while growing up and going to school in Nebraska, Colorado and South Carolina."There was always this sort of disjoint between what I thought I should be learning and what I actually did learn," said Schukei, 30. "And I thought Morehouse would be an opportunity to expand my horizons and to see a different perspective on the world that we live in.

"Schukei remembers Morehouse as a "refuge from the rest of the world where what race you are doesn't really matter.""Conversations that people typically wouldn't feel comfortable having about race can happen on Morehouse's campus where they just wouldn't happen anyplace else," he said

2007-05-31T13:58:00.001-05:00

Hollyweird Police Double Standard????
Posted by Bossip Staff

Two weeks ago, Eve was arrested in Hollyweird for a DUI and went directly to jail. Well, early Saturday morning, Hollyweird coke whore Lindsay Lohan was “cited” for a DUI and for having cocaine in the car. She crashed her whip while coked up, drunk, and angry after getting into a fight with her lesbian lover Samantha Ronson.

She was arrested at the hospital and given a get out of jail free card, a citation. DUI and coke and she gets a “ticket”?

The coked up Lohan was caught on video by Splash News running from the scene of the crash, likely getting rid of her coke stash before “one-time” (police) arrived to the scene.

Lock the b*tch up! Click here to read about the historic get out of jail free card she was given.

2007-05-22T06:55:00.000-05:00

CIARA & JAY-Z TEAM UP!

CIARA: Getting Piece of The 'Roc'
Posted May 18th 2007 4:10PM by Karu F. DanielsFiled under: Entertainment Newswire
By Karu F. Daniels, AOL Black Voices
Ciara is, indeed, the new spokesmodel for Roc-a-Wear clothing line.

A record label rep for the chart-topping singer/songwriter confirmed to The BV Newswire that 'Goodies' singer will be the face of the fall 2007 Rocawear Ladies brand.

The Atlanta-bred 'Goodies' singer follows in the footsteps of former supermodel Naomi Campbell and red-hot actress Zoe Saldana, who previously shilled for the Jay-Z-owned fashion line.
The new campaign, entitled 'I Will Not Lose,' will feature video testimonials from individuals who overcame different obstacles.

'Virgina Tech' newspaper's editor Amy Steele will reportedly be featured as a profiled participant. Sought after fashion photographer Mark Seliger has been tapped to lens it.

"I love Rocawear," Ciara said in an interview. "The clothes are so cute. The stuff is great. I am so happy to be able to do the campaign."

There's more exposure from where that came from.
Rumor has it that Ciara has been tapped to make her feature film debut in a gospel-based film project.

2007-05-16T08:01:00.000-05:00

IT'S A SAD DAY FOR THE CIVIL RIGHT'S MOVEMENT FAMILY..

Interesting encough, I wonder if enough of our youth even know about the Civil Rights movement, and what it stands for? I question that? Anyhow, Let's keep the King Family in our Prayers.

Martin Luther King Jr.'s Daughter Dies at 51
By ERRIN HAINES
AP

ATLANTA (May 16) - Yolanda Denise King, daughter and eldest child of civil rights leader the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., has died, said Steve Klein, a spokesman for the King Center.

Peter Dejong, AP Yolanda Denise King, daughter of Martin Luther King Jr., spoke to the media in the Netherlands in January. She was the most visible and outspoken child of the civil rights leader.Jump Below: Watch XXXX
Watch Video: Link Here Link Here

King died late Tuesday in Santa Monica, Calif., at age 51. Klein said the family did not know the cause of death but think it might have been a heart problem. Born on Nov. 17, 1955, in Montgomery, Ala., King was just an infant when her home was bombed during the turbulent civil rights era. As an actress, she appeared in numerous films and even played Rosa Parks in the 1978 miniseries "King." She also appeared in "Ghosts of Mississippi." She founded a production company called Higher Ground Productions. King was also an author and advocate for peace and nonviolence. Her death comes more than a year after the death of her mother, Coretta Scott King.

Yolanda King is survived by her sister, the Rev. Bernice A. King; two brothers, Martin Luther King III and Dexter Scott King; and an extended family. Arrangements would be announced later, the family said in a statement. Yolanda King was the most visible and outspoken among the Kings' four children during activities honoring this year's Martin Luther King Day in January, the first since Coretta Scott King's death. At her father's former Atlanta church, Ebenezer Baptist, she performed a series of one-actor skits on King Day this year that told stories including a girl's first ride on a desegregated bus and a college student's recollection of the 1963 desegregation of Birmingham, Ala.

She also urged the audience at Ebenezer to be a force for peace and love, and to use the King holiday each year in January to ask tough questions about their own beliefs on prejudice. "We must keep reaching across the table and, in the tradition of Martin Luther King Jr. and Coretta Scott King, feed each other," King said. When asked then by The Associated Press how she was dealing with the loss of her mother, King responded: "I connected with her spirit so strongly. I am in direct contact with her spirit, and that has given me so much peace and so much strength."

Mary J. Blige - Reminisce

2007-05-16T08:00:00.001-05:00

I REMEMEMBER EXACTLY WHO I WAS,WHAT I WAS DOING, AND WHY I WAS DOING IT. THE YEAR IS 1992, MY SON WAS 2 YEARS OLD! I WAS GOING TO COLLEGE, AND I REALLY THOUGHT I HAD THE THING CALLED LIFE FIGURED OUT. ALL THIS AT 21 YEARS OLD.

2007-05-16T07:20:00.000-05:00

MARY J. BLIGE...

A TRUE ICON.

I have always been a fan of Mary J. Blige. She represents true Strength, Triumph, and Transformation for and her many fans.

I get goosebumps watching her appear on Oprah, Tyra, and many other shows. We are the same age. I remember how raw, and hot! she was when she came out, I was living the typical hip hop life as a young lady in my early 20's (not that I am old). I was in College, with my 2 year old son Samuel on my back. Life was a hustle, I was working 2 jobs, catching th bus, and having drama with his daddy and his "other would be's. I have to admit, when I first heard her, I did not like her. However as I kept listening to her music I was like DAMNNN!! This chis is HOT!! I started trying to sing like her! (at home of course).

She became my TOP FEMALE RECORDING ARTIST OF ALL TIME. She reminded so much of the 70's music era I grew up listening to.

Bobby Womack
Al Green
Barry White
Brook Benton
Sister Sledge
Chic
Aretha Franklin
Marvin Gay
Curtis Mayfield
Rolls Royce

Heck even the BeeGees's & Andy Gibb was Hot!! The list goes on! anyhow, enjoy the interview!

MARY J. BLIGE: Men, Marriage, Motherhood and 'Mahogany'
Posted May 14th 2007 2:20PM by Karu F. DanielsFiled under: Entertainment Newswire
By Karu F. Daniels, AOL Black Voices

What is there not to love about Mary J. Blige?
For the past 15 years, we've watched her blossom from a hard-edged, street-savvy new-jill songstress to a critically-acclaimed, polished, much emulated cultural icon.
And 'Essence' magazine has been there every step of the way -- to help chronicle her remarkable journey.Talk about transformation.

The Yonkers, New York-bred Queen of Hip-Hop Soul is gracing the June edition of the best-selling black women's magazine. For her record ninth cover, the recently-married Grammy Award winner gets double exposure -- with two different magazine covers; one very beauty-oriented, the other with her new husband/manager Kendu Isaacs.

In a remarkable photo spread shot by Mark Liddell, the 36-year old Chevy spokeswoman channels the 1976 urban romantic classic 'Mahogany,' which starred Diana Ross and Billy Dee Williams. (Pick up the actual magazine(s) to see the Asian-inspired centerfold. Very fashion forward!!!)

Together with Isaacs, a former business associate of Queen Latifah who now is a partner of Mary Jane Productions, Blige looks the happiest she's ever been.
They were married Dec. 7, 2003.

And for the first time the royal couple sits down together and talk about their courtship and marriage and how breaking through Mary's pain brought them to love.
"I came from hatred," Blige shared with writer Kierna Mayo. "All my life I've been in a bunch of junk where men were jealous of me. They wanted my career, they wanted money from me-something."Though Isaacs was married (with three children) at the time of their initial meeting, he turned out to be her knight in shining armor. "I said, Damn, he's cute, and then I left it alone because I thought he and Latifah were a couple," she recollected. "I didn't know for sure what was going on, so I went to work. We all hung out later that night, and we got to know each other better."

Blige's doubts of a relationship with Isaacs caused her to question her role in the ending of his marriage. "I thought, 'I can't do this. I'm not a home wrecker,'" she revealed. "I was like, give me a gun and I'll just blow my brains out, because I'm at the point of...like I said...my spirit is dead. There was a lot of pain, so I ran straight into more self-destruction. I was thinking about the wife, I was thinking about the kids, and I was thinking, I just don't want to be responsible for that."

Isaacs clarified to 'Essence' that his first marriage was already dissolving before Blige was "fully on the scene;" He said that today he and his ex-wife have a good relationship.
The six-time Grammy Award winning singer/songwriter has had her fair share of romantic ups and downs throughout her life. She has mastered the art of connectivity with her massive fan base due to the fact that her music has been an emotional canvas.

Future-wise, Blige contemplates motherhood -- as Isaacs' three children are very much present in their lives. "God's got to be done with me, the low moments and all the insecurities of the past," she confided about the possibilities. "Your kid is around you 24/7. When you have stepchildren, they come around and then they go home. My child is going to be watching me go up and down on the days that I go down. I don't want my child to feel what I felt when I was coming up, what it was like for my mother to hurt all the time. So I have a fear-it's probably one of my biggest fears-a fear of my child suffering, you know, with that energy."

On the professional front, Blige, who recently starred in the CBS series 'Ghost Whisperer'-- has been attached to a Nina Simone biopic project. According to Bridget Bland of 'MTV Radio Networks,' Blige will star in an upcoming episode of HBO's red-hot Hollywood series 'Entourage.'
The June issue of 'Essence' -- with that scandalous Andrea Kelly story in it -- arrived on newsstands, nationally, May 14.

ROCK ON MARY I SO LOVE YOU!!

2007-05-12T06:25:00.000-05:00

TEENS WORRY ABOUT ENDING UP ALONE ACCORDING TO STATISTICS.

ALSO I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT MORE AND MORE TEENS HAVE BROKEN BARRIERS IN TERMS OF RACE AND RELATIONSHIPS, THAT THEIR PARENTS STILL STRUGGLE WITH.

READ ON...

Youths fear decay of family
Posted by: "freeteensusa" freeteens@aol.com freeteensusa
Fri May 11, 2007 1:30 pm (PST)
Youths fear decay of family By Cheryl Wetzstein. THE WASHINGTON TIMES April 27, 2007 Family breakdown tops the list of concerns for young people when discussing their futures, while getting married and having children are overwhelmingly popular life goals, according to a survey. The findings were released this week by New America Media, in cooperation with the University of California Office of the President and Bendixen & Associates research company.

Young people have a "fear of winding up alone," said Sandy Close,executive director of New America Media, an association for 700ethnic news organizations that was founded in 1996 by the Pacific News Service. Members of the new generation, who spend much of their time on cell phones and text messaging, and "who we think of really as the connected generation is, in a way, most afraid of winding up without intimate connections," she said. There is a "deep yearning for traditional structures and values."

Another hallmark of this generation is its embrace of across-cultural "global society," said Ms. Close. Fifty-three percent of white youths and Asian youths say most of their friends are of a different race/ethnicity, while a smaller 41 percent of blacks andHispanics say the same. Sixty-five percent of those ages 16 to 22said they had dated someone of a different race, and 87 percent said they would be willing to marry someone of a different race. "So this is a generation that has worked through, in their own experience,problems their parents are still wrestling with," Ms. Close said.

The survey asked the 601 youths, 80 percent of whom were born in California, 7 percent elsewhere in the United States and 12 percent outside the United States, to identify "the most pressing issue facing your generation in the world today." Twenty-four percent chose "family breakdown" as their biggest concern, followed by violence in local communities (22 percent),poverty (17 percent) and global warming (14 percent). War and government issues ranked low on the list; drugs,"environmental issues in general," "economic issues" and "racism/discrimination" barely registered. Nearly 90 percent of the youths, who were all interviewed by cellphone, said it was very likely or somewhat likely that they would "be married or have a life partner at some time" in their lives.

The same overwhelming majority also thought it was very or somewhat likely that they would have children. The survey also showed a surprising interest in religion and spirituality: Seventy-three percent said those things were very or somewhat important, and a second question about religious expression found that only 3 percent of youths had no religious expression in their lives. The faithfulness of youths contrasts with other poll data that rank California as having the "highest percentage agnostic' adults in the United States," New America Media said. The poll's margin of error is four percentage points. Source:

(http://washingtontimes.com/national/20070427-121505-3193r.htm)

2007-05-04T19:28:00.000-05:00

PARIS HILTON GOES TO JAIL!

I NEVER QUITE UNDERSTOOD WHY PARIS HILTON WAS FAMOUS OR WHY GYRLS WANTED TO BE LIKE HER??

Story Highlights

• NEW: Hotel heiress jailed for probation violation
• NEW: During hearing, Hilton says she signed document mistakenly
• NEW: Hilton's mother laughs while prosecutor speaks
• Probation stemmed from alcohol-related traffic violation

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail Friday for violating her probation, putting the brakes on the hotel heiress's famous high life.

Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or any electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing.

The judge ruled that she was in violation of the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

"I'm very sorry, and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry, and I did not do it on purpose at all," she told the judge before he announced the sentence.

She was then ordered to report to a women's jail in suburban Lynwood on the set date or face 90 days behind bars.

As a city prosecutor said during closing arguments that Hilton deserved jail time, Hilton's mother, Kathy, laughed. When the judge ruled, Kathy Hilton then blurted out: "May I have your autograph?"

Paris Hilton was among a series of witnesses who took the stand during the hearing. She maintained she was unaware her license was suspended and thought she was allowed to drive for work purposes.

She said that when an officer who stopped her in January made her sign a document stating her license was suspended, she thought he was mistaken and did not actually look at the document.

Hilton arrived at the courthouse 10 minutes after the scheduled 1:30 p.m. start time of the hearing.

The heiress arrived in the back of a black Cadillac Escalade and swept into the Metropolitan Courthouse with several men in suits, ignoring screams of photographers lining the route into a rear entrance. In addition to her mother, her father, Rick, also came with her.

Wearing a gray jacket and white shirt over black slacks and with a black headband on, she said nothing and appeared serious.

She exited the courthouse in a similar manner.

Prosecutors announced earlier they were asking the judge to sentence Hilton to 45 days in jail for violating the terms of her probation for an alcohol-related reckless driving conviction.

Prosecutors also were seeking to have Hilton ordered to avoid alcohol for 90 days, wear a monitoring device that would chart whether she complies, and have the suspension of her driver's license extended for an additional four months.

TV trucks were parked nearby to beam the news worldwide and a helicopter hovered overhead. Extra sheriff's deputies stood guard.

Hilton, 26, pleaded no contest in January to reckless driving stemming from a September 7 arrest in Hollywood. Police said she appeared intoxicated and failed a field sobriety test. She had a blood-alcohol level of 0.08 percent, the level at which an adult driver is in violation of the law.

She was sentenced to 36 months' probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines.

Two other traffic stops and failure to enroll in a mandated alcohol education program, are what landed the socialite back in court.

On January 15, Hilton was pulled over by California Highway Patrol. Officers informed her that she was driving on a suspended license and she signed a document acknowledging that she was not to drive, according to papers filed in Superior Court.

Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies stopped Hilton on February 27 and charged her with violating her probation. Police said she was pulled over about 11 p.m. after authorities saw the car speeding with its headlights off.

Hilton was also required to enroll in an alcohol education program by February 12. As of April 17, she had not enrolled, prosecutors said.

Hilton, heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune, first gained notoriety for her hard partying as a teen. She attracted worldwide attention when a sex tape she made with a boyfriend was released on the Internet.

She stars in the reality-TV series, "The Simple Life," now in its fifth season, with Nicole Richie. She appeared in the 2005 film, "House of Wax" and recently finished filming "The Hottie and the Nottie." She also is a handbag designer and has a namesake perfume.

2007-05-01T08:33:00.000-05:00

"DRESS FOR SUCCESS WITH SWEETGYRL"

AS YOU ARE AWARE SWEETGYRL INC IS A PROGRAM FOR TEEN GYRLS. WE PROMOTE HEALTHY LIFESTYLE, DRESS FOR SUCCESS, WHY HATE THE OTHER GYRL, MATH & SCIENCE CAREERS, AND WHY HATE THE OTHER GYRL. TODAY MANY GYRLS DO NOT HAVE THE TRAINING OR UNDERSTANDING OF THE IMPORTANCE OF HOW TO "NOT" DRESS FOR WORK OR INTERVIEWS.

THIS ARTICLE WILL SHED LIGHT ON SOME OF THE DO'S & DON T'S.

10 Crimes of Work Fashion

Laura Morsch, CareerBuilder.com writer

Fair or not, appearance matters in the workplace. Just ask Desiree Goodwin. The Harvard assistant librarian sued the university in 2005, claiming she was rejected for jobs or passed over for promotions 16 times because her supervisors viewed her as just as "pretty girl" who "wore sexy outfits," according to media reports.

When it comes to professional perception, clothes make a difference. According to a survey by Office Team, an administrative staffing firm, 80 percent of workers say a person's work wardrobe affects his or her professional image.

This means that dressing appropriately is a must if you want to be taken seriously at work. But knowing what's acceptable attire isn't easy in today's workplace. Business-casual dress codes vary widely between companies, and even between departments. The following items, however, are almost never acceptable to wear to work:

1. The crime: Poor-fitting clothing
Too-tight clothing is never flattering and usually too revealing, but too-baggy clothes make you look sloppy and unprofessional. Pant length also matters -- if you're showing too much sock or leg, expect to be teased all day about an upcoming flood.

Redemption: Find a good tailor. It's a rare person who actually looks good in clothes directly off the rack. Buy an item to fit the fullest parts of your body, and the tailor can nip in the rest.

2. The crime: Too much perfume or cologne
You never want your co-workers or clients to smell you before they see you, and a colleague could be severely allergic to your favorite scent.

Redemption: Apply perfume or cologne with an extremely light hand. If you spritz too much, put some rubbing alcohol on a cotton ball and dab off the excess.

3. The crime: Shorts or too-short skirts
Showing too much leg is never a good professional move -- for women or men. Revealing a little leg makes men appear overly casual or sloppy, and makes women look more sexy than serious.

Redemption: Men should stick with long pants, and women should wear shorts or skirts that hit within an inch-and-a-half of the knee.

4. The crime: Out-of-control hair
Whether it's frizzy coifs or bushy beards, wild hair just doesn't look professional.

Redemption: Women should invest in a good haircut and some styling products that can reduce poufiness and make hair easier to manage. Men should keep their facial hair well-trimmed, or better yet, go clean-shaven.

5. The crime: Dirty, ripped or torn jeans
Even on casual Fridays, ripped jeans look too dirty and messy for the workplace.

Redemption: When you do choose to wear jeans to work, make sure they are well-fitting and in extremely good condition.

6. The crime: Cleavage
There are very few legitimate jobs where showing off your chest is a good career move.

Redemption: Cover up. Whenever possible, avoid wearing anything low-cut to the office. If you can't part with your V-neck shirts, simply buy a few camisole shirts to wear underneath them.

7. The crime: Tank tops
Showing too much skin in the office is never a good idea, and tank tops are especially inappropriate for men.

Redemption: If it's hot outside and you're going out with friends after work, simply keep a cardigan at your desk to cover up. That way, you'll stay comfortable in frigid air conditioning and look professional when your boss stops by.

8. The crime: Noisy jewelry
An armload of bangles or long, dangling earrings are perfect choices for a bar, but downright distracting in the office.

Redemption: Keep your office jewelry simple. A small pendant, stud earrings and a delicate bracelet look much more professional than trendy pieces. Save your flashier jewelry for happy hour.

9. The crime: Gym attire
Even in the most casual workplaces, yoga pants, shorts, T-shirts and running shoes make you look sloppy and apathetic.

Redemption: At the very least, wear nice jeans and professional-looking shoes. If you're going to the gym or catching a flight after work, change into your comfortable clothes in the bathroom on the way out.

10. The crime: Extremely high heels
Extremely high heels are too sexy for the workplace -- not to mention impractical. Few things would be more embarrassing than wobbling or tripping over your extreme footwear in front of the boss.

Redemption: The highest heels you should wear to the office are 2 to 3 inches. That way, you'll actually be able to walk in them, and they'll be comfortable enough to wear all day. You might feel shorter, but you'll no longer fear grates or sidewalk cracks.

2007-04-29T09:43:00.000-05:00

"BLOGGERS CRITICIZE MONICA FOR THE WAY SHE DRESSES HER SON"

Monica Responds To Reader Comments

I spoke to Monica earlier today and the subject came up about reader comments in response to her son Lil' Rock's pictures that she graciously allowed me to share with my readers yesterday. I told Monica about all the positive responses to the pictures. And she was sorry that I had removed the comments before she could get a chance to read them.

Monica surfs the web and she is aware of all the negative comments that were posted about her son's attire on other sites as well. Monica asked that I allow her to specifically address those comments as well as to thank the fans for having her back on all of the message boards and other sites.

From Monica:

I truly thank them for their love and support. It's something that motivates me as a mother and as a person. Their love and support has carried me through a 13-year career, one child, and four albums.

And because of those that prefer not to hate, I'll always make music and let them into my personal life. I was made aware of the few people that did not like his choice of attire. But who are we to judge? Truth be told: it should be respected that he's on a major website wearing clothes that were created and made by Black men.

How do we constantly find negative when only positive exists? Is it a problem with the world or people in general? My son is being raised by strong black men, so therefore, when I dress him, I dress him as one. Not as a thug, not as a hoodlum.

How he dresses reflects nothing that I teach him. Morals and values are instilled in our home and in our lives. And for those that choose to speak negative, I simply must say take a look at self and dissect the problems within before you try to look at my life and dissect mine. My son is loved, blessed, favored by God and supported by many.

Thank you very much Sean "Puffy" Combs and the Rocafella family. We love you and will support you at all costs."

ITS VERY IMPORTANT AS MOTHERS TO TEACH OUR CHILDREN VALUES, I APPLAUD MONICA FOR THAT. I GUESS SOME ARE QUESTIONING, WHAT "IMAGE" ARE YOU TEACHING HIM THO...

I ALWAYS LIKED MONICA AND STILL DO. SHE GOES BACK TO THE DAYS OF BRANDY, TLC, AALIYAH, DABRAT MID 90'S. EVERY ONE HAS THEIR PREFERENCE ON HOW THEY CHOOSE TO DRESS, IT GOES BACK TO WHAT IS IN THE HEART THO.

2007-04-29T09:21:00.000-05:00

"JAWN MURRAY OPRAH BASHES"

Updated:2007-04-23 15:53:23

April 23, 2007

By Jawn Murray, AOL Black Voices Columnist

Evan Agostini, Getty Images

Jawn Murray takes Oprah Winfrey to task over her town hall special about the fallout from Don Imus and blaming hip-hop for his actions. Also, season four 'American Idol' finalist Anwar Robinson weighs in on Sanjaya Malakar, Paris Bennett and Jennifer Hudson in this week's "BV Buzz"

Read Last Week's BV Buzz

Weighing In On Winfrey

I've refrained for chiming in on this Don Imus story for the last couple of weeks. But after watching Oprah Winfrey's town hall meeting about hip-hop on her daily talk show and hearing people excuse Imus' actions because "rappers use the same language all the time," I was outraged and felt compelled to comment.

Hip-hop music is about as responsible for Imus' racist and sexist remarks towards the Rutgers University women's basketball team as Elton John and George Michael are for Isaiah Washington using a gay slur against his 'Grey's Anatomy' co-star. Better yet, no one is blaming Rosie O'Donnell's regular rants on 'The View' about President George Bush on The Dixie Chicks. People say what they want to say and feel how they feel because that's who they are. It has nothing to do with music and I for one will not allow Imus, his supporters, Oprah Winfrey, her TV panelists, the women of Spelman University or anyone else tell me that hip-hop is the root of this evil.

Was hip-hop the blame for Imus' other racist remarks? Was Snoop Dogg the cause in 1993 when Imus spoke about black journalist Gwen Ifill who covered the Bill Clinton presidency when Imus said: "Isn't the Times wonderful --they're letting the cleaning lady cover the White House." And are we pointing the finger at Nelly for Imus calling black New York Times sports columnist Bill Rhodes a "quota hire." I'm sure I'm supposed to believe that Ludacris is to blame for Imus' remarks about his ex-coworker, a black woman named Contessa Brewer, when he said: "With that fat ass she's got, she wouldn't be [a beautiful woman]. That skank has to spend three hours with makeup in the morning." No, no, no! Imus, who is 66, has been spewing his bigotry on the radio long before the Sugar Hill Gang hit the scene.

In my best Miss Sophia from 'The Color Purple' voice: I's love Oprah, God knows I do! But even I have to say her town hall meeting was about as slanted as the regular news coverage on Fox News Channel. Though I appreciated Common's presence on the show, why was he the only rapper booked on a show about hip-hop? Where were guys like Ludacris, Nelly, Jay-Z and 50 Cent, who could have brought a fiery perspective to the show, especially since Ludacris and 50 Cent have accused Winfrey of being anti-hip-hop in the past? This would have been the perfect platform for her to enlighten them as to why she feels the way she feels. More so, why not have successful products of hip-hop like Will Smith, Queen Latifah, LL Cool J and Ice Cube to show what the hip-hop generation has birthed and to bring a balance to the show. Instead, Winfrey, Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock, former editor in chief of Essence magazine Diane Weathers, New York Daily News columnist Stanley Crouch and several other guests threw hip-hop under the bus and allowed Imus to drive it!

Am I a hip-hop head? Absolutely not! Just ask Shaheem Reid at MTV News and he'll tell you. When we were students at Norfolk State University I would ask him things like: "What's the difference between a Redman and a Method Man?" I can certainly make the distinction now. Most laugh when I say my favorite rapper of all time was not the Notorious B.I.G. or Tupac, but actually Will Smith. But I say that to say that as someone who fits the hip-hop demographic, though I'm not married to the music, I still believe that making hip-hop the scapegoat for Imus' actions is a slap in the face to all African-Americans, specifically the Rutgers University women's basketball team. Because the reality of this situation is that though there may be some issues with hip-hop and maybe it is time to make some rappers take accountability for their lyrics; not even the filthiest, most misogynistic rapper in the game called the ten players on the Rutgers University women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos!"

And before I finish, I also have issues with 'The View' and their stance on Imus too, but space won't allow me to take that show to task now. But thanks to über-conservative, republican co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck for surprisingly being the voice of African-Americans during the Imus fallout. I don't know why the show didn't book frequent guest hosts Jacque Reid or Sherri Shepherd-two women who could actually offer a real Black perspective -- but I can definitely say that the presence of Star Jones Reynolds has certainly been missed more than ever over these last three weeks.

I AM SORRY, BUT SOMEONE NEEDED TO HOLD HIP HOP MUSIC ACCOUNTABLE FOR THE UNSPEAKABLE THINGS THEY HAVE SAID ABOUT WOMEN OF COLOR PERIOD!! NOT ALL, BY ANY MEANS, BUT SOME OF THE MUSIC THAT IS PUT OUT THERE REALLY BREEDS HATRED IN OUR COMMUNITY, TOWARDS OURSELVES AND THE WORLD. THE SELF HATRED IN OUR COMMUNITY IN UNSPEAKABLE!

HIP HOP MUSIC INFLUENCES SO MANY YOUNG FOLKS, ITS TIME FOR PEOPLE TO RISE UP AND TAKE A STAND AND STOP THE MADNESS PERIOD!

MUSIC HAS POWER!! IN THE 60''s and 70's there was so much music MADE AROUND WAR. MUSIC SPEAKS LIFE AND DEATH. WHEN YOU HAVE THAT KIND OF POWER USE IT CONSTRUCTIVELY. THERE ARE NO DOUBT INCREDIBLE TALENTED RAPPERS SO MANY I CANT EVEN NAME ALL. HOWEVER; SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, THEY LET SOME VERY ANGRY, NEGATIVE, HATEFUL CATS IN ON THE GAME AND KEPT THEM THERE.

SOME RAPPERS SING THAT WAY FOR THE HYPE AND ACCORDING TO WHAT THE PUBLIC WANTS OR DEEMS NECESSARY, AND OTHERS ARE REALLY THE WAY THEY SING.

EITHER WAY, IT NEEDED TO BE ADDRESSED, AND I AM GLAD OPRAH DID IT.

2007-04-28T17:36:00.000-05:00

BREAK UP TO MAKE UP? NOT SO FAST! LEARN HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP STYLES NOW! READ BELOW..

Relationship Relapse

By Meredith Broussard
Courtesy of Match.com's Happen magazine

In medical terms, a "relapse" happens when you think you've suffered through the worst of an illness and feel like you're on the road to recovery, until bam! -- out of the blue, your symptoms return, sending you back to bed with a box of Kleenex. Now, "relationship relapse," on the other hand, is not an official medical diagnosis. But that doesn't mean it's not very, very real to the people it strikes.

Here's what happens: Just when you think you're starting to get over your ex and realize all the flaws in your relationship, you run into him or her somewhere. Maybe it's accidental, or you make an excuse to get together -- perhaps for the sake of closure. You try to be just friends, sure. But you end up hanging out, and maybe you start sitting dangerously close to one another. Promises are made. There is kissing, a brief feeling of euphoria, and then bam! You're back in bed together, along with all of your old dysfunctional patterns: renting movies, fighting over silly things, wondering if there is anyone better out there.

If this scenario sounds all too familiar -- or maybe you're living it as you read this -- I'm here to warn you that relationship relapse can be deadly to your dating life. That's because by revisiting your past, you're taking yourself off the market -- thus preventing you from finding The One. So, the next time you're tempted to slip back into an old relationship, check out these tips instead.

Rx No. 1: Purge ex-related toxins from your environment.
You'll forget your ex faster without any reminders, so you should immediately begin to remove all traces of him or her from your life. First step: cell phone. Erase your ex's name, digits, friends, pictures. This way, you're not tempted to call -- and you won't "accidentally" dial (Freud would say there are no accidents.) Next, purge your computer: Erase photos, e-mails, files, anything having to do with your ex. If you have trouble letting go, burn everything onto a CD and hide it someplace. Finally, take all the physical evidence (clothes, gifts, artwork, sporting equipment, etc.), and get rid of it. You may want to have a yard sale -- this is the perfect opportunity to clear your clutter and make way for the new single you. If you get hives at the idea of throwing away perfectly good stuff, try making a box: Take everything that reminds you of your ex, pack it up in a cardboard box, and stash it in your attic.

Rx No. 2: Avoid using alcohol as anesthesia.
Drinking, while an effective way to numb post-breakup pain, also lowers your resistance to infection -- from germs and from ex-lovers. Think of it this way: When you get sick, you get emotional. Maybe you feel sorry for yourself, maybe you decide you don't just want your ex, but you need your ex to help you through. And once your ex drops by with orange juice and tissues, it's all over. And, of course, we probably don't need to tell you that getting blotto can also lead to Drink and Dial episodes, where it seems like a good idea to call your ex at 3 a.m. No surprise here, but these calls never go well. We're not saying you need to be a teetotaler, but it's best to figure out what's driving your urge to imbibe. See which way your mood is headed by asking yourself: Do you want a refill because you're having fun with your friends, or because you're not having fun since you wish your ex were around? If you're leaning toward the latter answer, order a seltzer.

Rx No. 3: Safeguard yourself against emotional stress.
You're cruising along with your recovery when wham! -- you get canned from your job, a pet dies, or you hit some other personal crisis. Think it's OK to lean on your ex for a spell until you're back on your feet? Tempting, sure, but no. Just ask Ellen Rosenholz from Philadelphia. "My ex-boyfriend said, 'I don't want a girlfriend' so we broke up," she recalls. "Then, my pet died and I had to call him. And he had to take me out to dinner to comfort me ... I realized that I missed him." They got back together immediately, but it didn’t last long; he was compassionate, but he still wasn't ready to commit.

Since times of personal crisis are so unstable, the impulse to run towards someone who's served as a rock in your recent past is understandable. Keep in mind, though, that your ex isn't the only person who cares about you. Your mom, dad or best friend from high school would probably all be happy to come to your emotional aid. Plan ahead and identify a friend or family member you can call in times of need.

Rx No. 4: Abstain from ex sex at all costs.
Breakup sex, once more for old times' sake, friends with benefits -- all of these things are delusions if you're really trying to avoid relationship relapse. One midnight booty call leads to another, and before you know it you're back to the same old argument over who gets first dibs on the Sunday Op-Ed page. Rachel Cope from Miami can relate: "I was dating a guy for a year and a half and actually had planned on ending the relationship -- then he broke up with me," she recalls. "We did the breakup sex thing, which led to an awful limbo in which we weren't together but I gave myself up at the drop of a hat, and then went to my room and cried hysterically ... Then I realized that even if things did go back to normal between the two of us, that normal had never been that great." Rachel took decisive action and ended the relationship.

Need some ideas of what to do instead? Make a list of all the things you disliked about your ex or about the relationship. Carry it in your wallet and consult it whenever you're tempted to re-establish intimate contact. Then, get busy (not in that way!): Pick up a new hobby, go on an adventure, or travel somewhere you've always wanted to visit. Join a club or group that involves meeting new people and getting out of the house regularly. You never know who's out there…and that's your better bet than revisiting your past.

Meredith Broussard is the editor of a new anthology 'The Encyclopedia of Exes: 26 Stories by Men of Love Gone Wrong.' Her website is www.failedrelationships.com.

2007-04-28T15:32:00.000-05:00

IN AN EFFORT TO GET THE WORD OUT THERE ABOUT SWEETGYRL & STREETBOYZ2BIZNIZ MEN, WE HAVE ENTERED AN EXPERIMENT. PLEASE READ BELOW.

1. Participate by Exchanging Favorites

This is fastest way to join the exchange program. Favorite my blog

1. Participate by Exchanging Favorites

This is fastest way to join the exchange program. Favorite my blog then please leave your Technorati username as well as a similar link to your blog in a comment.

To make things easy, I suggest using a Technorati favorite link or button. You can get the buttons and links easily at this Technorati page. Please leave a link to one blog only.

My Technorati nickname is kimilina32 and I will favorite all the links as soon as possible.

Check to see who has favorited your blog and do also let me know if I’ve left you out.

2. Link to this blog post with your Post on Technorati Favorites

This is only for those bloggers who are interested in holding Technorati exchanges on their blog as well. These are the steps you need to take:

Create a post on your blog announcing that you are exchanging Technorati favorites. Prominently include a link to this post to indicate that there is a similar exchange going on at www.sweetgyrlnetwork.blogspot.com.

You can use any link text you want. Make a new post on this topic instead of putting the link in a old post that is already deep in your archives.

Get a Link Back. Once I’ve noticed the link via trackback or Technorati, I’ll include a link to your post on Technorati favorites in this post itself so readers here can visit your blog to participate if they want to.

Links will usually be put up pretty quickly but if you didn’t see your link up after a day or two, please feel free to send me A COMMENT and I will respond to your blog .

LET'S GET THIS GOING!!

2007-04-28T07:05:00.000-05:00

Jada Pinkett-Smith Says Her Marriage Comes Before Career

freeteensusa

Tue Apr 17, 2007 8:34 am (PST)

Read this article online at
http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7007057202

Jada Pinkett-Smith Says Her Marriage Comes Before Career

April 16, 2007 5:22 a.m. EST

Maira Oliveira - All Headline News Reporter

Los Angeles, CA (BANG) - Nowadays it seems there are more celebrity
break-ups than we can keep count of. However, one couple that has stood
the test of time and served as an example is Jada Pinkett Smith and her
husband Will.

Jada recently said she would quit acting if it ever jeopardized her
marriage.

The "Reign Over Me" star and husband Will Smith are both successful
actors, but she values her family above her career.

Jada, 35, told Britain's Independent newspaper: "I'm very aware how busy
careers can quickly lead to divorce, but I'm not going to let that
happen to us. I will throw my career away before I let it break up our
marriage. I made it clear to Will. I'd throw it away completely, which
is what I'm doing to a certain extent."

In her latest film, Jada plays a wife trapped in an unhappy marriage.
She claims the role taught her how to make her own marriage stronger.

Jada said: "For me, these were experiences that were relatable, but the
most interesting aspect of the relationship between this particular
couple is that you see all the time how the smallest little germs can
get inside of a relationship, things that aren't really tangible, but
can create such a huge deterioration within a marriage.

"And you see this all the time - these are the things that you always
have to be careful of. Even though you have this union as husband and
wife, you can never forget who you are, just simply as yourself. If you
lose yourself then everything else will fall out. There is no
relationship to be had if you don't have a relationship with yourself
first."

2007-04-27T17:57:00.000-05:00

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

BY THE WAY, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN, SO TAKE A HINT...

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition
(or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat
a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he
probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, so why would he treat
you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you,
speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he
has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man. Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll
cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a
two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship
consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary not
supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and
your always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you
need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other ladies.... You'll make someone SMILE, another
RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget
them.

2007-04-26T05:36:00.000-05:00

Mt. Vernon's Newest Star is Asia Nitollano

Posted Apr 24th 2007 10:39PM by Marcus Vanderberg
Filed under: Everybody Hates Marcus

Sean Combs, Denzel Washington, Heavy D, Ben Gordon and now Asia Nitollano.

All of these people have put Mt. Vernon, NY on the map in their own unique way and Asia is the latest to do so as she is the newest member of the Pussycat Dolls.

'Pussycat Dolls Present: The Search for the Next Doll' came to an end Tuesday and it was down to three girls.

Asia, Melissa and Chelsea - - I can't tell you how it came down to these three because frankly I tuned out of the show after the first episode.

But once I heard Asia was still around and had a chance to win, I tuned in for the finale.

Her personal story was the most touching out of any of the contestants.

She left her young daughter back home in order to try out for the show.

Regardless of what you think about Asia having a child at such a young age (18), it doesn't take away from the fact that she managed to go for her dream and achieve it.

And for that, I applaud her.

That and the fact that she's from Money Earnin' Mt. Vernon!

Does this mean I will listen to the Pussycat Dolls?

Of course not.

But I will pay more attention to their videos from now on to make she's really in the group and this show wasn't some bad prank to play on poor Pussycat Doll fans.

ASIA IS DEFINITLY A "SWEETGYRL" SHE OVERCAME HER OBSTACLES AND WENT FOR HER DREAMS" WE ARE SO HAPPY FOR HER!!

2007-04-25T07:42:00.000-05:00

LISA "LEFT EYE" LOPES: Gone, But Not Forgotten

Posted Apr 20th 2007 5:39PM by Karu F. Daniels
Filed under: Entertainment Newswire

By Karu F. Daniels, AOL Black Voices

The short life and fast times of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes will be on display when with"VH1 Rock Docs: Last Days Of Left Eye" premiering May 19 at 9 PM ET/PT.

VH1 goes behind the scenes and digs deep in paying homage to the hip-pop artist who fronted the 1990s supergroup TLC before her untimely death five years ago in a tragic car accident.

According to a network spokesperson, the Lauren Lazin-directed documentary is filled with exclusive and never before seen footage captures the final month of her life.

"She documented her final days in journals and private home movies shot at her spiritual retreat deep in the jungle of Honduras," the rep confirmed. "During this month Lisa reflected on her triumphs and mistakes with an eye towards the spiritual transformation she so desperately sought."

At the time of her death, Lopes, 31, was estranged from group members Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins and Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas. She was embarking on a fledgling solo career and was professionally linked to the beleaguered Death Row Records empire, helmed by Suge Knight.

TLC, formed in 1991 in Atlanta was signed to LaFace Records and produced by super-hit-maker Dallas Austin. With hit singles such as 'What About Your Friends,' 'Baby -Baby- Baby,' 'Creep,' 'Red Light Special,' and 'Waterfalls,' the trio became the biggest selling girl group of all times.

Lopes's personal life was just as much of the TLC story as their success.

From the torching of her football star boyfriend Andre Rison's mansion and her substance abuse to her very public challenge to fellow group members to compete with solo projects, there was never a dull moment with her liverly and sometimes bawdy spirit.

2007-04-24T19:39:00.000-05:00

I Just got back home from visiting my home town Springfield Mass. I use to get a stomach ache whenever visiting there. So many memories, good and bad. But this visit was quite different, it was kinda sad and happy at the same time.

I spent time with my mother, (she cooked bacalou, cod fish for me) and I spent time with my brother Tim and my wonderful little nephews! I went to church and talked to old friends, and spent time with my son Samuel and my (new) adopted son Randolph. Both older teens, it so great to watch these positive young men dodge violence, and drama that so many teens encounter. It's also fun helping them participate with me to plan their future. We are trying to decide UCLA or USC, both play football, and are pursuing their dreams of Law enforcement and Video Game design.

I also had the chance to reflect on the many lessons I learned from living in Massachusetts. I look at how much I grew as a person. I came to peace with so much.

I reflected on the fact that a woman that I use to know, named Wilhelmena Vasquez would have been 90 years old today, My maternal grandmother. She left us 7 years ago this year. I look at the fact that had she not made the sacrifice to come to the United States back in 1967, I would not be here. She was a trail blazer, she did things in her time that other people simply thought about.

She was a TRUE survivor. Married 4 times, out lived all husbands, buried her mom and all her brothers and a child, she has seen more in her day than the average person. I come from a line of very powerful women. I celebrate them all in life and in "transformation states". I am thankful, and I understand where I get my determination, spunk, integrity, and zest and excitement for life from!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA, KNOW THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE LOVED AND MISSED.

WILHELMENA VASQUEZ
4-24-1917 PANAMA, CITY PANAMA.

2007-04-24T13:04:00.000-05:00

Hip Hop's Simmons wants to remove offensive words

By Daniel Trotta Mon Apr 23, 2:27 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Prominent U.S. hip-hop executive Russell Simmons on Monday recommended eliminating the words "bitch," "ho" and "nigger" from the recording industry, considering them "extreme curse words."

The call comes less than two weeks after radio personality Don Imus' nationally syndicated and televised radio show was canceled amid public outcry over Imus calling a women's basketball team "nappy-headed hos."

Simmons, co-founder of the Def Jam label and a driving force behind hip-hop's huge commercial success, called for voluntary restrictions on the words and setting up an industry watchdog to recommend guidelines for lyrical and visual standards.

"We recommend that the recording and broadcast industries voluntarily remove/bleep/delete the misogynistic words 'bitch' and 'ho' and the racially offensive word 'nigger'," Simmons and Benjamin Chavis, co-chairmen of the advocacy group Hip-Hop Summit Action Network, said in a statement.

"These three words should be considered with the same objections to obscenity as 'extreme curse words'," it said.

Ho is slang for whore and commonly used in hip-hop music while nigger, a derogatory term for blacks, is among the most highly charged insults in American culture. The slur "nappy," used by Imus, describes the tightly curled hair of many African Americans.

CHANGING STANCE

Monday's statement changed course from another one by Simmons and Chavis dated April 13, a day after Imus' show was canceled, in which they said offensive references in hip-hop "may be uncomfortable for some to hear, but our job is not to silence or censor that expression."

The Imus controversy stoked a debate in the United States about how to deal with inflammatory words that are widely considered highly offensive but at the same time commonly and casually used in youth culture.

Jesse Jackson have led the charge to suppress offensive words while many artists have argued for freedom of expression. New York City declared a symbolic moratorium on the so-called N-word in February.

"Our internal discussions with industry leaders are not about censorship. Our discussions are about the corporate social responsibility of the industry to voluntarily show respect to African Americans and other people of color, African American women and to all women in lyrics and images," the statement from Simmons and Chavis said on Monday.

The network recommended the formation of a Coalition on Broadcast Standards that would consist of leading executives from music, radio and television.

2007-04-16T21:46:00.000-05:00

"WHY I HAD TO LEAVE MY DAD ALONE"

Well the saga continues, from my last post

"Absent Fathers & Angry Black Woman Syndrome"

I was peacefully minding my business tonight, when my phone rang, it was my "father figures" daughter, questioning me about why I am not speaking to our "Father" I gave her the explanation.

Here it is. I was born overseas during the Vietnam Era, my mom gave birth to me in Panama. The man that played the "father figure" stopped writing and calling after 2 years and promising my mom marriage and a future. He disappeared. Years went by, and we came to the United States and made it, I moved on, my mom moved on and got married and had two more children and became a nurse and an "Evangelist". As you can tell from my story, I had a baby, was in the service, got my Masters degree, moved to Maryland, and did fairly well for myself in life, in spite of obstacles and challenges getting here.

However in the back of my mind I always wondered who I was? That other half of me was missing, I needed to know, I needed to understand who I was, and fill that gap with a face. I had the name just no face. At the age of 35, I was sitting in front of my computer 2 weeks before Christmas, and playing on the Internet, and doing random searches on www.zabasearch.com to find some old Navy buddies. My gut said, Look up your dad, so I typed in the name.

It came up! his name came up with a phone number. I called it was 1030pm at night. A woman answered, I said hello is ***** there? She said he is sleeping? I said well pardon me for calling your house so late, however I was wondering if this is so and so that was stationed in Panama City, Panama, back in 1970? She said yes, are you his daughter? I was quiet, I could not believe it, I got it, it was him! I was scared, exited, and numb all at the same time.

She said hold on and said let me wake him up, he got on the phone and I asked him the same questions, he was gentle and kind and receptive to me, and confirmed information about my mom, myself, and her pregnancy. We talked for 2 hours. The next day I woke up, I was so shaken, I cried, and cried, I could not believe that I was actually talking to someone that was "Father" that was weird to me. His wife knew about me my whole life and had photos of me.

At any rate, time went on, we were on the phone every night, talking and talking and talking about everything and anything. He expressed his sadness and regret over not being there for me and my mom ( and I believed him). In January he invited me to his home town to meet him and (his family). The drama started from there. I was grateful and happy, however the way his wife reacted towards me, I was totally shocked, this was a church going "Christian" woman, that was very insecure and jealous, and so was her family, when I showed up.

She came to my gathering (celebration) late, and then went onto to tell me all her and my (father figures) problems, and how she would never marry him again, and she knocked his family like crazy, (my side as well) said they all had issues (as if what family doesn't) like her family was so "perfect" in my mind I am trying to figure out this woman's motive.

I told him the things his wife said, because I could not figure out for the life of me why she was acting the way she did, She gave away how insecure she was, I saw right through her. At any rate, that is neither here or there. The problem I had was this. He called my mom after 35 years (for what I don't know) to supposedly apologize, and the whole (15min) they were on the phone, he boasted about his two daughters after me.

That reopened wounds for my mom like why would this man call me after 35 years to tell me this? It was to clear his consciousness. So sick.

The next thing I knew was that I was not hearing from the "father figure" like I was recently, he stopped calling, and responding to emails, yet he wanted me to attend a trip to Miami to meet (the other 2 girls), I wrote him and told him I was not going, I was not comfortable (it brought me back to remember how he just stopped writing to my mom and me in Panama and never explained and disappeared).

He immediately wrote back and asked why and explained that his wife was angry that I was back in the picture and they are now in counseling and that his absence had no reflection on wanting to be in a relationship again. I let it go agreed to go to Miami, and I watched his behavior to see if it matched. Guess what he still never called again, (the behavior continued) even after going to Miami.

Come to find out, I got a negative phone call from his daughter threatening me to not hurt her father. I was like what? He apparently told her about a conversation I had with him about his ways changing. She explained to me that he had to keep his wife and family together and did not want to jeopardize it by communicating with me. I was like WHAT?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME, THAT THIS MAN WOULD GIVE UP THE CHANCE TO GET TO KNOW A LONG LOST DAUGHTER AND HAVE A POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP, TO KEEP an insecure woman secure in her own shoes?

The part that pissed me off the most is that, since I have been in Maryland I have received at least 3 phone calls from his wife's side of the family asking me questions and being sneaky playing games. I said to myself, I wanted to get to know my "father figure" but he came with allot of baggage and "shoved his family" down my throat. Very disappointed to say the least.

Well I learned from this, I learned that I got the closure I needed, I saw him, I met him, and now I heal and move on. I tell other young women that have no father, when you find him, go with an open mind, but guard your heart, move slow, get to know HIM as much as POSSIBLE, take it slow. Move slow, ask questions, and if he tries to shove his other side down your throat ask him to slow down.

Am I hurt, not really, I am actually proud of myself, I NIPPED IT IN THE BUD, and needless to say, I TOLD HIS DAUGHTER A "FEW THINGS".

STAY SWEET, ANOTHER CHAPTER IN THE BOOK WRITTEN.

2007-04-15T11:20:00.000-05:00

AIDS & RAPE IN SOUTH AFRICA

It's sad to see how this disease is so rampaged around the world!

That there has not been a cure found for it as of yet. It has been suggested that a cure can be found, however its all about the money for the Pharmaceutical folks. Well here it is 25 years later its sad to see what the country had to resort to in order to protect its women from HIV & Rape.

SOUTH AFRICAN ANTI-RAPE CONDOM
Posted Apr 12th 2007 5:03PM by Angela BronnerFiled under: AIDS: 25 Years and Counting

The adage "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure" has taken on new meaning. And with the RapeX anti-rape female condom, that pound is coming out of somebody's johnson. RapeX is a female condom that damages a rapist's penis after penetration with sharp microscopic barbs that hook into the skin. After the man is incapacitated, this ostensibly gives the woman time to escape.

The condom can only be surgically removed (thereby catching the perp redhanded), but supposedly will not cause major damage if removed immediately.

Invented by Sonette Ehlers, a blood technician at the South African Institute for Medical Research, RapeX has been in existence since August 2005 and is to be inserted and worn when a woman is "on a train, working late, going out on a date with someone you don't know too well, going to clubs, or in any situation that you might not feel comfortable or even just not sure."

Rape plays a significant role in the high prevalence of HIV among women in South Africa.
Continue reading SOUTH AFRICAN ANTI-RAPE CONDOM

2007-04-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

PAULA NEAL MOONEY

I write that name really BIG because its a person with a BIG HEART. Paula deserves much props from us here at SweetGyrl, Inc. She has been our silent and boisterous supporter. Paula actually encouraged SweetGyrl to go out on a limb to tell the story! The Book "The Truth Behind SweetGyrl" has begun!

I love the fact that she is always willing to help out, make suggestions, tell how she gets things done. Paula is literally the "Perfect Stranger" and "The "Ultimate SweetGyrl" for the month of April. Not only because its her BIRTHDAY AT THE END OF APRIL! but because of her "Selflessness" she is unwavering and "Selfless.

SweetGyrl just want to take a moment to shout out Ms. Mooney and thank her for being such an inspiration to me Kimberly Bowles and SweetGyrl Inc.

As a result of Paula, I have met another wonderful young woman named Tara Pringle, (That Journalist) . We are currently working together to bring a wonderful HUGE INSPIRING SURPRISE TO THE THE TEEN GYRL COMMUNITY AROUND THE WORLD!

No doubt thanks to Paul Neal Mooney! to find out more about Paula's Musings, you can check her out at http://paulamooney.blogspot.com/ "The Wheel in the Sky keeps on Turning"!

Also to find out more about Tara Pringle http://thatjournalist.blogspot.com/ "Words & Such"

I wanted to take this time to Praise God from whom all of my blessing flow, Paula Mooney & Tara Pringle (my blessings).

Have a wonderful day, and HAPPY HAPPY UPCOMING BIRTHDAY TO PAULA NEAL MOONEY FOR THE MONTH OF APRIL!!

2007-04-12T13:01:00.000-05:00

FACTS ABOUT ABSTAINING

Pledgers delay 27 months longer*

Abstainers more likely to graduate from HS, college, make more $** Sources: * Bearman, P., & Bruckner, H. “Promising the future: virginity pledges and first intercourse.” American Journal of Sociology, 106 (4), 859-912, 2001. ** Robert Rector and Kirk Johnson,

“Teen Sexual Abstinence and Academic Achievement,” www.heritage.org/Research/Welfare/whitepaper10272005.cfm.Notes:

You’ve heard a lot of information about the physical and emotional damage that comes from uncommitted sex and about how the creators of many of the messages in popular music, TV, movies and the Internet don’t care about your life, and how waiting until marriage benefits your life and increases your happiness.

Did you know that teens who make a promise or a pledge to abstain from sex delay having sex an average of 27 months than teens who don’t make a pledge? Teens who abstain from sex are much more likely to graduate from high school, to graduate from college, and have much higher incomes than teens who don’t abstain. So the time has come for you to make a decision.

You can stand on the fence and let others, the media or your own emotions run your life, or you can decide to make your life successful and happy by making a decision to abstain.

2007-04-12T12:57:00.000-05:00

FOR MY SPANISH SISTERS!

La Declaración personal de la Libertad¸

Para reclamar que mi derecho de ser libre del embarazo & STDs, un corazón roto, y las relaciones poco honradas; ¸ Y, liberta para cumplir mis metas de la vida, encontrar mi un amor verdadero, y hacer un compromiso de toda la vida; ¸ Yo, _________, ha tomado la decisión de abstenerse del sexo hasta el casamiento. Seré responsable a (el nombre de mentor adulto) para esta decisión.

DIOS DE BENDIGA

KIMBERLY, REPUBLICA DE PANAMA!

2007-04-12T12:53:00.000-05:00

"THE VIRGIN'S PLEDGE"

Personal Declaration of Freedom¸ In order to claim my right to be free from pregnancy & STDs, a broken heart, and dishonest relationships; ¸ And, free to fulfill my life goals, find my one true love, and make a lifelong commitment; ¸ I, _________, have made the decision to abstain from sex until marriage.I will be accountable to (name of adult mentor) for this decision.

2007-04-11T11:19:00.000-05:00

"STRENGTH PREVAILS"

Heartache Haunts Another Stringer Trip To Final Four
TOM CANAVAN
AP Sports

Rutgers Responds
Reuters
Rutgers women's basketball team members responded to Don Imus's sexist and racially insensitive remarks at a press conference on Tuesday.
Editorial: Why Imus Must Go
What has made it OK for men -- White and Black -- to make Black women the butt of jokes and scorn?

Rutgers coach C. Vivian Stringer wanted everyone to see the women who Don Imus insulted the way she sees them - as a talented, classy group that overcame adversity to play for a national championship."No one can make you feel inferior unless you allow them. We can't let other people steal our joy," Stringer said at a news conference Tuesday, a day after Imus was suspended for two weeks for referring to the players as "nappy-headed hos."The Rutgers' administration and the team called Imus' remarks last week "despicable," but stopped short of saying he should be fired and agreed to meet privately with the embattled radio host.

"My role as a coach is one to love, nurture, discipline, teach and prepare our young women for leadership roles in this society," Stringer said. "And that I am sure of. And all that we do and all of the travels we have had, this group of young women have been presented as nothing less than class, in every aspect of all that they do."For Stringer, the accomplishment of this team was special because they had come so far this season. They started out 2-4, including an embarrassing 40-point loss to Duke, which was ranked No. 1 for most of the season.The 59-year-old Hall of Fame coach was so disappointed with the team early this season, she took away some privileges, making them wash their own practice clothes.

You Make the Call
"Through perseverance, hard work, determination, during the Christmas holidays, they spent eight to 10 hours working and going through films, studying and working so hard to become all of what they could be," she said. "And ultimately, they ended up playing for the national championship. No one believed in them but them."It was an uplifting Final Four story. Stringer's three other Final Four trips were marred by tragedy.When she took little Cheyney State to the national title game in 1982, it was the same year her infant daughter, Janine, came down with spinal meningitis and was close to death several times. The disease left Janine severely handicapped and confined to a wheelchair.Eleven years later, Stringer led Iowa to the Final Four less than six months after her husband, Bill, died of a massive heart attack on Thanksgiving Day 1992.Stringer took the Rutgers job in June 1995, less than a year after Rutgers president Francis L. Lawrence created a controversy by saying that African-Americans lacked "the genetic hereditary background" to score well on standardized tests. Lawrence apologized but did not resign as many asked.

BV Sports Blog

Who You Calling A Nappy Headed Ho?
It wasn't bad enough that the Vols crushed Rutgers in the Women's NCAA tournament, now the Rutgers gals are being called "nappy-headed hos' by radio host Don Imus.

Stringer eventually became the first coach to take three schools to the Final Four when she led Rutgers there in 2000. That trip was surrounded by concerns about her youngest son, Justin, who suffered serious head injuries in an automobile accident that season. Two years earlier, another son, David, had been indirectly involved in a shooting death while at North Carolina State."She has been through many struggles," said Rutgers junior forward Essence Carson, one of eight black players on the Scarlet Knights' 10-player roster. "That just proved to us, it's not just where you come from, it's where you're going.""We embody her," Carson added. "She embodies us. And we are just proud to be part of this Rutgers women's basketball team.

"Even as a teenager, Stringer was a leader, becoming the first black cheerleader at her school.Her father, a coal miner in western Pennsylvania, convinced her to go before a school board and get the position."He said to me, 'Vivian, if you don't stand up for something, you will fall for anything, and you know what? This might not be about you, or for you, but it is for future generations of young women that you need to take a stand,"' Stringer recalled.Now, more than 40 years later, racism has confronted Stringer again.She called Imus' comments "racist and sexist remarks that are deplorable, despicable and unconscionable.""It's not about them (players) as black or nappy-headed. It's about us as a people," Stringer said. "When there is not equality for all, or when there has been denied equality for one, there has been denied equality for all."

2007-04-09T19:02:00.000-05:00

Don Imus Must Go
AOL Black Voices

Why Don Imus Must Go
NBC/AP/Tim Larsen/AP
Black women like Rutger's player Kia Vaughn(right) should not be happy until Don Imus and his producer Bernard McGuirk resign or are fired.
Don Imus Benched for Two Weeks by MSNBC
Some say Imus could be in real danger if the outcry causes advertisers to avoid him.
From the Boards: Boycott Imus?
From the Boards: Protests Planned Against Imus
From the Boards: What Was Really Said
From the Boards: The Rant About Imus
What Our BV Blogger Had to Say About It
Don Imus vs. Al Sharpton: The Radio Smackdown
Check Out More BV News

Black women in America are mad and are not going to take it anymore! The latest straw was Don Imus's vile, misogynistic and racist comments last week calling the talented young women on the Rutgers University basketball team "nappy-headed 'hos." Every Black woman we know, love and respect is mad about it. The horrific comments coincided with the 39th anniversary of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King's assassination.

These beautiful, young student athletes, freshmen and sophomores mostly, took their team to the "height of sports achievement" by reaching the NCAA Womens Basketball title game. They performed beyond their abilities for C. Vivian Stringer, an extraordinary coach who put their well-being first, even before winning In a statement, Coach Stringer said: "Throughout the year, these gifted young ladies set an example for the nation that through hard work and perseverance, you can accomplish anything if you believe. Without a doubt, this past season was my most rewarding in 36 years of coaching.

This young team fought through immeasurable odds to reach the highest pinnacle and play for the school's first national championship in a major sport."What has made it OK for men -- White and Black -- to make Black women the butt of jokes and scorn? These women are descendants of those who marched with Dr. King and tirelessly worked, often behind the scenes, for the civil rights African-American men and women so richly enjoy today.

In today's society Black women are too often an easy target. They have been referred to as welfare cheats, out-of-wedlock baby mamas, bitches and 'hos. Even the (white) Feminist movement, for which they also toiled, has given them short thrift. (Where is the outcry from our white 'sistahs'?) Despite all of this, Black women do what they're supposed to do. They go to school and earn degrees, in disproportionately larger numbers than their male counterparts, get good jobs, then work hard to improve their neighborhoods, their nation and the world. They take care of business!

They do this even as they go out each day overlooking how they are dismissed and dissed by society from too many Black rappers who make millions on music that call sisters out their names and too many filmmakers who ignore how much money Black women spend on movies that never seem to feature them.Yet, who stands to defend Black women? Where are the outraged calls to fire Imus from the powerful men -- newsman Tim Russert or Sen. John Kerry, are two high-profile examples, who continually go on his show to talk about issues of power and influence. It can't always be Jesse (Rev. Jesse Jackson) and Al (Rev. Al Sharpton).

We don't always agree with them, but again their voices can be heard above the din of silence. As they say, "If mama ain't happy, no damn body's going to be happy." And Black women should not be happy until Imus and his producer Bernard McGuirk (who first referred to the Rutgers players as "hardcore hos," and the game between the Lady Knights and the Lady Vols of Tennessee as "jigaboos and wanna-bes") resign or are fired.

Don Imus and Nappy Headed Hos

2007-04-09T18:27:00.001-05:00

This is very disturbing, to call these young women who are playing ball, and going to school and trying to do the right thing with their lives.

Its a shame that "Racisim" of this magnitude exist in society and with Imus have such a huge audience and influence on people's opinions.

I do hope they call for some sort of diciplinary action.

IRENE CARA

2007-04-09T07:38:00.001-05:00

I LOVE THE FACT THAT IRENE CARA IS BACK AND SHE IS CASTING A THEATER/MOVIE PRODUCTION ABOUT UNDERPRIVALEDGED CHILDREN IN NEWYORK.

I GREW UP LISTENING TO HER,
FLASH DANCE
FAME
AMONGST OTHERS.

I THINK THIS SONG IS PRETTY COOL.

2007-04-08T20:57:00.000-05:00

FREETEENS USA ARTICLE/OPINION ON RECENT OPRAH SHOW

Dear Friends, Fascinating and important comments by Diane Sollee, Founder/Director of the Smart Marriage Conferences (http://www.smartmarriages.com) about a recent Oprah show that discussed a misleading NY Times article about the number of women not living with a husband. Best,Richard- FRIDAY'S OPRAH SHOWI'm baffled.

We all realize Oprah's incredible power and influenceand if you watch the show you know that she cares deeply about girls and women and, really, about all living things. We know that the lastthing she'd want to do is present information that would do damage -in the short or long run. We also know she has a huge staff - and they must have every resourceand access to vast information. That's why Friday's (4/6/07) showleaves me totally baffled. They used a new format. Oprah sat on stage alone and discussed "news"items with the audience. The item that generated the most discussionwas the stat taken from the Jan 07 NY Time's article and flashed onscreen as a talking point: "51% of Women Single".

Oprah explained that in America single women now outnumber married women for the first time ever. No correction or explanation about how these numberswere calculated or that this info has since been corrected, even bythe NY Times - that the author came up with the 51% which was definedas women "living alone" and included women whose husbands were working out of state or out of the country; deployed to Iraq,Afghanistan, Korea or elsewhere; or in prison. It also didn't explainthat the 51% included 10 million little girls "15, 16, 17...." and women who had outlived their husbands and are now "living alone" but after long marriages. It was presented on Oprah as though 51% of women aren't marrying. An audience member expressed concern saying that she thought marriage was important for the community and for children and concerned that due to celebrity marriages and devaluing marriage, this trend might grow.

Oprah said she wasn't concerned, said she saw the trend as"evolution". Oprah next introduced a 39-year old audience member and in her introexplained how happy this women was in her single state - how much shewas enjoying her single life, dating, and sex. The women thenabsolutely glowed and quivered as she talked about how wonderful herlife was - that she could do whatever she wanted. This was greetedwith beaming and applause. No mention of the fact that over 90% ofour daughters still say it is their goal to marry and have children.No one asked this woman how she felt about never having children. Then another "new" stat was flashed on screen: "70% of Black Women are Single". Oprah expressed amazement: "Who Knew??!". Much discussion ensued with Oprah's strong advice/solution being that because of the huge disparity between the numbers of Black women and available Black men, Black women must not be waiting around to marry a Black man.

That was the root of the problem. She said she's been preaching this to all her girlfriends, like Gayle for years - that they have to 'get real' and be willing to marry non-Black men. An agitated Black women in the audience explained that she was very happily married to a Black man, and exhorted Black mothers to raise marriageable Black sons, and then introduced her 33 year old brother who was sitting beside her, whom she said was very marriageable. Another woman stood up to express her concern that the discussion was disparaging marriage and said how wonderful her marriage was and how important it was to her happiness.

Oprah allowed that, yes, there are some good Black men and marriages BUT asked thewoman - aren't you and aren't all of us glad that we now have achoice. That back in the day, women had to be married to havelives. They went to college to find a husband. Now we don't have tomarry or have arranged marriages to have wonderful lives. And, thenshe repeated what she says so often, that she's got a perfectly wonderful Black man but it is her CHOICE not to marry. She did a showearlier in the year where she made a declaration that she would nevermarry because, as the theme of that show spelled out, a woman is ingreat danger of losing herself and her individuality - who she is -in a marriage.

No one on Friday's show mentioned the co-incidence that 70% of ofBlack children born out of wedlock - most, of course, fathered by Black men. The only mention of children was by a concerned audience member to the effect that marriage was good for raising children.This remark was countered by Oprah with "we all know it takes avillage, a community, to raise children" - affirmed with much applause. No discussion or question was raised about how many of the70% of liberated, unmarried Black women were strugglingsingle mothers or the correlations with out-of-wedlock birth rate. The staff is asleep at the wheel. This is evolution?

This is what CHOICE is about?I keep saying it's not just the lack of good information aboutmarriage but the mis-information that's killing us. And, it's the media that provides the info and creates our combined culturalunderstanding of the benefits of marriage and understanding about whyand how marriage succeeds or fails. I cannot understand why Oprah'sstaff would leave her out there dangling in the wind presenting such misleading information. Why they wouldn't her staff give Oprah anupdated explanation of the 51% stat and, instead, just let hergo on the air and look ignorant?! Or, with her strong concern about helping GIRLS, why wouldn't they give Oprah the overwhelming researchon the benefits of stable marriages on the future health, happiness, and well-being of our girls and their children?! As I said, I'm baffled.

Maybe the whole Marriage Initiative grant money should have gone to help Oprah's staff bone up on research. I'm convinced her show has more effect than all our programs combined. And, WHY don't they book Diann Dawson, director of the African American Healthy Marriage Initiative and sponsor of plays, hip hopsongs, and convener of research panels and think tanks on strengthening Black Marriage? Why don't they do a show on Nisa Muhammad's crusading effort to found Black Marriage Day - established in 2002 and now celebrated annually in cities all across the Country?? Nisa - as a working single mother of five kids decided we can turn the epidemic of out-of-wedlock births and struggling single mothers around - she decided to do something forALL women and children and she certainly deserves one of Oprah's Angel Network contributions.

Or Rozario Slack and Nisa, creators ofthe Basic Training program for Black Singles and Couples. Give them achance to teach the basics on the show. Give Rozario a platform to talk about the "marriageability" of Black men and give his "Message to Our Sons". Or, speaking of THE SECRET, feature Kay Hymowitz and her book "Marriage and Caste in America" with it's clear and logical explanation of what the growing Marriage Gap is doing to our children- that the great divide in health, wealth and well-being boils downto who marries and who doesn't.

Oprah should be teaching her audiencethe facts: Finish high school, marry before having a child, do not have a child until you are 20, and your chances of being poor are only 8 percent! That should be her mantra. And it's the real SECRET- the secret is NOT about positive, wishful thinking - about wishing on a star and hoping you'll attract good things. It's about having a "north star" plan by which you can organize your life to have it all - education, love, marriage, AND kids.

Oprah needs to teach that doing things in the right order - in the right sequence -is THE SECRET. It's key. It's crucial. (For those of you that don'tknow Oprah has single-handedly put the book "The Secret" at the top of the charts and revived a Norman Vincent Peale 'positive thinking'frenzy.)Or, when she does her shows about the sexual abuse of children(another Oprah crusade) her staff should help her present the research on how much more likely it is that children will be abused if they are not living with their biological father.

The stats are overwhelming and make clear that we'd get much further in reducing sexual abuse by keeping daddies in the home than by putting predatorsin jail. It's true of Oprah's own story - she lived with hersingle-parent mom and was abused by a male relative.This is all information that Oprah's audience desperately NEEDS.I knew this front page NY Times article "51% Living Single" was goingto have legs, but guess I wasn't aware of how far it would run us inthe wrong direction.

thought with all the corrections and discussion in the press it would fade away. Now, having been amplified by the Oprah lens this MIS-information is now beamed intothe brains of millions of young women around the planet. And, thehorror is that it was presented in a celebratory manner: "evolution" - progress for women. For analysis of the NY Times article, in case you missed it here arejust two:

http://lists101.his.com/pipermail/smartmarriages/2007-January/003260.html And here: http://lists101.his.com/pipermail/smartmarriages/2007-January/003263.html

2007-04-08T20:41:00.000-05:00

"71% of Black Women are Unmarried with Children"

While I soo love Oprah, I found last Friday's show very interesting. I agree with Oprah that on some levels being and staying single is an evolution. Where as earlier in the day, black women (women in general) strived to finish high school, grow up, and have children and get married! I don't see anything wrong with that. Oprah also made a point to say that "Women often time lose themselves" When they get married.

I agree that in some instances women do lose themselves and their identity when engaged in a relationship or married. However I don't use that as a reason as why I am presently single.

I am single because I choose to be. I am headed towards marriage, but I chose not to marry earlier on, because I was not emotionally, or mentally ready to sustain a healthy marriage or "attract" a healthy partner. I took time off to work on myself so that I could be an example and attract the kind of partner I wanted and "be the kind of partner I wanted" I have to BE THAT!, so having said that, I guess I was troubled when Oprah stated that 71% of Black women are not married. I am sorry but to me that seems like more of an epidemic! Especially where children are concerned! It's in our community! I don't think it should be praised. There was complaint that there are a number of in-eligible black men, and that black women should basically start looking outside the box. That personally bothers me, because I see on some levels that being true. More and more black women and men are not married. I look back in the 60's only 40 years ago! Black couples was celebrated it was a norm, then the 70's, pimping, ho-ing, all the blaxploitation movies, highligting and pimping and drugs, everything they fought so hard to stop from "other races" in the 60's pretty much went down the tubes. Please don't get me wrong, I love "Superfly, The Mack, Foxxy Brown, Cleopatra Jones" but stay with me here. I am just trying to figure out simply "what happened" to our "community" and the way "Black Men and Women" interact.

I really try to work with my son Samuel to help him be a "healthy" "marriageable" young man, should he choose to marry. I don't think there is anything wrong with black women marrying outside of their race. As some would say Love does not have a face. But I just raise the question what is happening with our homes and the way men and women particularly "black men and women"?

2007-04-04T13:15:00.000-05:00

"ABSENT FATHERS & Angry Woman Syndrome"

Hello Audience its been 2 weeks since my last post!! I wanted to talk about young women and Absent Fathers, as well as the "When I express myself" I am now labeled as ANGRY, nice reverse psychology!

Many young women grow up without fathers, especially in the African American Community. It's unfortunate, because alot of men, disown or
"walk away" from their responsibilities of raising children.

Alot of times, the ones that don't walk away, want a trophies or extra credit for something that women have been doing for years.

I recently had the displeasure of having a conversation with a gentleman that I mentioned some behaviors that he was displaying, and he accused me of being angry, its just amazing to me that when dealing with men of color in particular, when your expressing your self or you become emotional you are viewed as "ANGRY".

It was also expressed that some did not approve of what I wrote about my mom in the original post! I have to tell you folks that my story is a story to reach out to young women & men that have experienced these common issues with parents moms, absent dads, dads that were there, ect. It is not to dwell on what happened, but to look at what happened and see as a way to improve your life in spite of "WHAT HAS HAPPENED" you don't have to remain stuck there! You can move on. But you have to continuously heal and do the work on yourself, many times, when your dealing with abusive mom or absent father, they never get the counseling or the help needed to be healthy and face theme selves. It is up to you to be healthy and decide whether or not having them in your space or in your life is what you want, because they are who they are, and more likely than not, they will NOT CHANGE. PERIOD.

It also shows how "slow" some people ARE in terms of being open minded and understanding the motive of why things may be the way they are.

As you all are aware, I NEVER had a father, I never knew what it was like to depend on a dad. I did not meet my "father figure" until adulthood. However my point is, many young women don't have dad's and grow up with out them in their lives. It does not mean that, they are bitter, angry, dysfunctional or any of those THINGS.

I have seen many times over young single moms raise beautiful children that are productive members of society and gone farther in life than kids that were raised with dads. I have also seen vice versa.

The issue that I have with all of this rambling that I am doing is that I have been surrounded by limited thinking individuals and accused of airing the family's business, I believe the quote was "We all have stories" does that mean it has to be exposed? The individual that said that, made me realize who and what I was dealing with.

For the young ladies that grew up without dads, its OK!! YOU HAVE MADE IT this far, and you can go on. Just know that if you already had issues with your immediate family or mom for instance, and you go looking for the man, are you prepared to deal with him and his current family issues and dysfunction, you could end up bringing in more baggage than you are willing to ever deal with.

Keep an open mind, don't expect anything, ask lots of questions, and continue the healing, because if he is like most of the situations that I have seen, it will be made to seem that when she brings up valid questions or concerns, it can be turned on her to seem like she is "Angry".

If your an adult its a slow process, if he is married, and the wife happens to be possessive or insecure, she will not necessarily be happy that you around! period its a fact, so don't go looking for this long lost family and being fully accepted right away, its not going to happen, not unless these people really have the love of the LORD in their hearts and are true true "Christians" which is hard to find these days. It's a disruption to their way of living and feeling and being and hear you come! its not easy, but It can work if you, don't jump in expecting anything.

I learned once again "The hard way" which I am clearly learning to "walk away" and learn easier, of course I had major parent issues, and it can really wreak havoc on ones life, but I have done so much emotional and mental work around it, does not mean that I am not human or feel what I feel.

When your dealing with limited minded, dysfunctional individuals! LOL, they will be the first to remind you that your "Angry" kind of a way to get the attention off of the lack of what they are not doing in their life or your life!

Just a thought. I will get more into detail later!

2007-03-20T22:30:00.001-05:00

Oprah Goes to School
True, the world's most successful woman has always shared her wealth. But her latest project is really one for the books.

By Allison Samuels
Newsweek
Jan. 8, 2007 issue - Two thousand and six was the year Africa went Hollywood: Madonna, Clooney, Brangelina. And now, in 2007, the most exclusive spot on the continent will undoubtedly be in the town of Henly-on-Klip, about 40 miles outside Johannesburg. Set on 22 lush acres and spread over 28 buildings, the complex features oversize rooms done in tasteful beiges and browns with splashes of color, 200-thread-count sheets, a yoga studio, a beauty salon, indoor and outdoor theaters, hundreds of pieces of original tribal art and sidewalks speckled with colorful tiles. Julia Roberts, John Travolta, Stevie Wonder, Nelson Mandela and the reigning African Queen herself—Angelina Jolie—are expected to attend the grand opening this week. By now, you're probably wondering how much a spread like this goes for per night. Actually, it's free. There's only one catch—you have to be a 12- or 13-year-old African girl to get in. As spectacular as this place sounds, it's not a resort. It's a school: the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls.

Winfrey has spent five years and $40 million building the school to her own Oprahlicious specifications—did we mention the huge fireplaces in every building? The talk-show diva always does things in grand style, of course. But $40 million for a school for impoverished girls in Africa does seem a bit, well, extravagant. In fact, the South African government had planned to build the school with her, but it pulled out amid reported criticism that the academy was too elitist and lavish for such a poor country. Oprah doesn't care. "These girls deserve to be surrounded by beauty, and beauty does inspire," she says, sitting on the couch of her hotel suite overlooking the deep-blue Indian Ocean. "I wanted this to be a place of honor for them because these girls have never been treated with kindness. They've never been told they are pretty or have wonderful dimples. I wanted to hear those things as a child."

Oprah says she decided to build her own school because she was tired of charity from a distance. "When I first started making a lot of money," she says, "I really became frustrated with the fact that all I did was write check after check to this or that charity without really feeling like it was a part of me. At a certain point, you want to feel that connection." But there's another reason Oprah has put so much, and so much of herself, into this school. Like her students, she grew up poor—truly a coal miner's daughter—with dim hopes for the future. She was raped as a girl and ultimately raised by her grandmother. To a certain degree, she is building this school for herself: the plucky girl who became one of the most successful women in the world yet still feels that pain. I wanted to hear those things as a child. If she can save these girls, perhaps she can rescue that child, too.

I so love what Oprah is doing for the gyrls here! It is awesome, Oprah is a true "SweetGyrl"

Gyrls are very special people!

Mary J Blige- Take me as I am

2007-03-20T20:09:00.001-05:00

Tell your friends, this message, when they are pressuring you into being what your not!

And if you have boyfriend that is pressuring into something your not comfortable with, Tell him!
"Take Me as I am"!

2007-03-16T18:57:00.000-05:00

Disney first: black princess in animated film

‘The Frog Princess’ will be set in New Orleans, scored by Randy Newman

Judi Bottoni / AP

Randy Newman on piano and the Dirty Dozen Brass Band play a song from Walt Disney's animated musical fairy tale ‘The Frog Princess’ on Wednesday in New Orleans.
View related photos

NEW ORLEANS - The Walt Disney Co. has started production on an animated musical fairy tale called “The Frog Princess,” which will be set in New Orleans and feature the Walt Disney Studio’s first black princess.

The film, set for release in 2009, also is the first hand-drawn film Disney has committed to since pledging last month to return to the traditional animation that made it a worldwide brand.

“The Frog Princess,” a musical scored by composer Randy Newman, is “an American fairy tale” starring a girl named Maddy who lives in the French Quarter in New Orleans, said John Lasseter, chief creative director for Disney and Pixar Animation Studios.

Disney did not provide details of the plot, but the company showed shareholders preliminary drawings from the movie. Newman and a jazz band played a song from the movie’s score.
Maddy joins eight other Disney princess characters, who have generated $3 billion in global retail sales since 1999. Disney Princesses is the fastest-growing brand for the company’s Consumer Products division.

Disney introduced its first non-white animated heroine in 1992's “Aladdin”: a Middle Eastern character named Jasmine. Three years later an American Indian princess appeared in “Pocahontas.”

The creation of the Chinese heroine from “Mulan” came in 1998. Other Disney princesses are the main characters from “Cinderella,” “Sleeping Beauty,” “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” “Beauty and the Beast” and “The Little Mermaid.”

Disney aggregated the eight characters in 1999 under the banner Disney Princesses and has rolled out toys, books, clothing, furniture and other merchandise aimed at girls ages 3 to 8.
Disney chief executive Robert Iger said the company wanted to show its support for New Orleans, only partially rebuilt 18 months after it was flooded by Hurricane Katrina, by holding its annual meeting and setting its newest animated film in the city.

“The film’s New Orleans setting and strong princess character give the film lots of excitement and texture,” Walt Disney Studios chairman Dick Cook said.

John Musker and Ron Clements, who co-directed “The Little Mermaid,” “Aladdin” and “Hercules” will co-direct the movie. The pair also wrote the story for the film.

I AM SO GLAD THIS IS HAPPENING, I MEAN IT ONLY TOOK 100 YEARS!!

2007-03-16T18:29:00.000-05:00

14 YEAR OLD GYRL SENTENCED TO 7 YEARS IN PRISON!!
FOR SHOVING SOMEONE~

Paris, Texas. in plain view
March 13th, 2007 Fredric

The one thing i love most about reading online is the ability to find little nuggets of information or interesting stories without having to flip through a giant stack of recyclable paper with messy ink. yesterday was no exception when i stumbled upon a story in the tribe (may need free signup) about a small town in Texas that seems to relish in its violent racial past.
Paris, Texas is the home of the Paris Fairgrounds, a stage where thousands of white ’spectators’ would gather to burn and lynch blacks as if at some sort of carnival. today, it is a highly segregated town that has implicitly dared anyone to question how it chooses to treat blacks that live in the area.

The facts:
“black parents have filed at least a 12 discrimination complaints against the school district with the federal Education Department, asserting that their children, who constitute 40 percent of the district’s nearly 4,000 students, were singled out for excessive discipline” the Paris public schools are under investigation by the U.S. Education Department.

19-year-old white man, convicted last July of criminally negligent homicide for killing a 54-year-old black woman and her 3-year-old grandson with his truck, was sentenced in Paris to probation.

Judge Chuck Superville sentenced a 14-year-old white girl, convicted of arson for burning down her family’s house, to probation.

A 14-year-old black freshman, Shaquanda cotton, shoved a 58-year-old teacher’s aide at Paris high school in a dispute over entering the building before the school day had officially begun. She was tried in march 2006 in the town’s juvenile court, convicted of “assault on a public servant” and sentenced by the same judge Chuck Superville to prison for up to 7 years, until she turns 21
Yes, you read that last part right.

I’ll let it sink in for a second.

So its 2007, one state is drafting formal legislation to apologize for slavery, and another is trying to flex its ‘don't mess with Texas’ ego. while i complained earlier of how dismayed i was that some black blogs tend to be angry, this type of reality justifies that sentiment, and rightfully so. while I’ve never been the most articulate when it comes to expressing the complete shock of ‘in plain view’ racism, i can honestly say that this type of white arrogance and hate needs to be called out and handled swiftly. but how? the article mentions that NAACP is on the case (rolling eyes), but i feel like more, MUCH MORE needs to be done.

If you get to the end of the article, the turmoil suffered by Shaquanda in juvenile prison, where 95% of the offenders are repeat and violent (read: real crimes), has caused her to attempt suicide on her life 3 times. 3 times! a 14-year old, my little sister, is trying to kill herself because a racist bigot of a judge put her in prison for shoving someone. SHOVING!

So what can be done? link to this article. publicize this story. let’s see what blogging black can really do. go to the governor’s page at http://www.governor.state.tx.us/contact and let him know how you feel and how this is completely bullshit.
free Shaquanda cotton. NOW!

I ask that some of my more articulate readers post a statement in the comments that we can all use on the contact form on the Texas governor page.

2007-03-10T19:13:00.000-05:00

Check Out "Runaway Love"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJWtR2KlMwg

"When I got kicked out at 18"

"The Shelter & The Pregnancy"
Things got crazier at home, I ultimately my friends house that was pregnant. Me and ma were really on the outs! I could never go back there! The beefing the arguing, the power struggles, the I am right, I am the mother and I am the older and wiser issue kept coming up. You see I never felt supported or understood or accepted by mom. She very Authoritative, and punitive, and it was either her way or no way, period.

I snuck around behind her back because I was very much restricted and deprived. I felt deprived, I could not do things that other teens did unless it was church related. Also he church we attended was not that great, in my opinion, but my mom was very very faithful to "The Church". My mom was very over protective, she tried to shield me from a lot, I guess you can say, some of it was good in the long run, because I never ended up a Prostitute, or on drugs. However, it was overbearing, it did not help that I had a very strong personality and so did she, and she definitely had to show me that she the head person in charge!

It was bad, period. No sugar coating. I had to leave so I planned this pregnancy by the wrong Dude! I was 18 what on earth did I know!! I had to get away from the noise of my home life and my mom.

I got tired of not having any place to stay so I checked myself into a women's shelter. It was so clod outside and I was in 12th grade. My last year in school. Mike the baby's dad dropped out, and was slinging crack cocaine and weed full time. How nice. We argued like it was no ones' business! every little thing was an argument, it mirrored me and my moms relationship.

I went into the shelter, I was 3 months pregnant, I had to be there. It was crazy because I was the youngest girl there. I mean there were women there who had substance abuse issues, and domestic violence issues, they were hiding from abusive husbands and boyfriends. I was rough, me I was just there to get my section 8.

It was rough, we had to be up by 7 am and out by 9 am and back in no earlier than 5 pm. How unreal. I was often times taunted and picked on by the other women. I was like how do you come to a shelter and pick a fight? I could not and would not fight.

March came I was 6 months pregnant, I remember being at my guys house one evening (before the shooting)and out of the blue I said something wrong and he was laying down and I was sitting by his foot and he took his foot and kicked me in my face, I was so shocked, i got up and we started tussling, and he threw me to the floor and left. It was senseless fight, "nothing happened enough for him to act that way.

One week later, I had called to talk to him about what happened and his mom told me "He got cut" and was in the hospital. I went to go visit him in the hospital and he was very rude and short. I sat there, I was burning inside, suddenly a Puerto Rican girl walked in with balloons and flowers, and kissed him on the cheek while I was sitting there.

I understood what happened the week before with the "kick in the face" he was cheating with this chic, and needed an excuse to feel less guilty about what he had done. I felt so cheated, so powerless, so alone. I could not call my mom, I could not take the preaching. She never liked Mike, and never wanted me with him. She was right about him.

I walked back to the shelter in the dead & cold of the night, I just knew that this could not be my life, this was not all that life was made of, I felt I had to be strong for this newborn. In all actuality, I really wanted to just simply not breath any more. I was tired, lonely, and sick of struggling.

Below is a video of Ludacris and Mary J. Blige "Runaway" Girls your not alone, to me back in 89, there are way more services available to you and for you. You can post at this blog if you need to. Your not alone, and that is not all there is to your life. Within 3 years my life had completely changed. Today I am a homeowner, I still have one child, I have traveled the US and Central America, I have my Masters degree, I worked in Entertainment! I have done so much! don't give up on your self!

Even when you feel to just "Runaway"

Stay tuned for "The Baby"

2007-03-10T18:45:00.000-05:00

GOOD DAY!! MS. HANNAH!!We are honored that you decided to be interviewed by SweetGyrl as the "Ultimate SweetGyrl"

So Hannah where did you grow up?
I grew up in Springfield, Massachusetts in a single parent home.

How old are you?
I’m currently in my early twenties.

What are/is your passion/what do you see yourself doing 10 years from now?
I love singing, dancing, and teaching. Ten years from now I definitely see my self all finished with college and graduate school. I see myself owning a house and married with one or two children possibly. By then, with God’s help I will have an album or two out, and will have traveled to many countries with my future spouse to do some type of missions work. Being that I’m short, I probably won’t get the chance to be a runway model like I would like to, but I still plan on getting into glamour/beauty and brochure modeling for commercials, and big retailers. I see myself fulfilled, in shape, healthy, and planning on opening my performing arts school for inner city children and youth starting in my hometown of Springfield, Ma.

On a deeper level, how did it make you feel when you were in high school and all your friends were having sex or became pregnant?
I was very hurt. I took it personal because we were all so close. I felt like they had given up, and given in, and I almost felt indifferent, because there was now something that we couldn't’ relate on and that we did not have in common.

In the family are you the oldest or youngest?
I am the youngest of three children.

Do your siblings have children?
Yes, both of my siblings have children.

Were they teenage parents? What were you thinking at the time?
Yes, both were teenage parents. Since there was a huge age factor there, I was very euphoric when both my siblings became parents, because I would now be an aunt, which I felt gave me some type of authority and entitlement (and not to mention something over my schoolmates who weren’t yet aunties and uncles). I was too young to realize how young my siblings actually were, I just knew they were bigger and older than I was, so it was normal to me.

How does it feel to be still a Virgin? Do you ever get tempted?
It feels like an accomplishment, and something to be proud of, but then again, according to my faith and personal morals, this is the norm and a commandment, so it’s really sort of natural and the way things are supposed to be (yes, even in this sex-saturated culture). Do I ever get tempted? Hah! When don’t I? I am very human, and my life is very real! There is no anecdote or secrets to warding off the temptation, but not constantly placing yourself in potentially tempting situations certainly helps, and if you and your partner cannot see eye to eye on where your limitations will be set at, and effectively communicate that, then some key areas of the relationship need to be reevaluated. If they truly love you they WILL respect you and your values.

If you had to do it again would you still stay a Virgin?
Of course. I have something that I can call my own. It is a “something” that no one can speak on or relate to, it is truly mine all mine. It also allows you see what that someone truly loves you for, while teaching them to love and see you for more than what your panties contain.

Are you involved with anybody?
Yes, currently I am in a four-year relationship with my high school sweetheart.

Who is your favorite artist?
I have several favorites that range from Donnie McClurkin to Kirk Franklin for gospel, and Ciara, Mya, Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, Jagged Edge, and Omarion, for r&b. However, my ultimate favorite is Beyonce, I love her!

As you are aware SweetGyrl and Streetboyz2biznizmen are sister companies, and we endorse abstinence, what would you say to the youth of today Girls mainly about waiting for marriage and saving themselves?
You’re worth it, don’t you think so? There’s more to life than just the opposite sex, and sex itself…so don’t limit yourself and feel that you’re missing out! I can promise you that your guy and girl buddies are NOT giving you the real 411…they will tell you how good it felt, but they won’t tell you that they secretly regret it, and that they wish they never did it. Don’t fall into the hype. I don’t care what they say, if you two are that young, and he or she has got nothing going for themselves, what can they offer you? What in the world could you really offer them? How much could they really love you? They don’t know what love is, and it certainly doesn’t equal S-E-X! Very seldom do we take the time out to really be patient. We want it so easy, so quick. Don’t settle, if he really loves you today…he should be able to love you in 5 years. You only have one life to live…make it worth it and memorable. When you leave this life, you will have to give an account for everything, so take the time to think and make wise choices that you will be proud of.

Is there anything else you want to add?
I can’t stress it enough, take life one day at a time, don’t rush anything! Get to know yourself, and love yourself, and always set an example because there is someone out there who is looking up to you and you may not even know it.

Thank you for interviewing with us!!

2007-03-08T22:10:00.000-05:00

IF MORE GIRLS COULD THINK THIS WAY, AND GET OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE NOT GOOD FOR THEM WITH CLASS LIKE THIS VIDEO FROM BEYONCE, THEY WOULD HAVE BETTER CHOICES.

WE ARE SO ABOUT EMPOWERING YOUNG WOMEN TO LOVE THEMSELVES. CHECK THIS VIDEO OUT GYRLS! I AM NOT ENCOURAGEING BASHING GUYS, BUT I AM PROMOTING WHEN SOMEONE IN YOUR LIFE IS NOT DOING WHAT YOU KNOW YOU NEED OR WANT, THEY GOTTA GO!

IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO LIKE YOURSELVES LADIES & MEN, MY STREETBOYZ2BIZNIZMEN!

IN LIFE PEOPLE PEOPLE PLAY PARTS, THERE ARE SEASONS AND REASONS AND LIFE, THE PROBLEM COMES IN WHEN YOU TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE THAT ARE THERE FOR A SEASON AND REASON STAY A LIFE TIME! ITS LIKE MEAT GOING BAD IN THE FRIDGE.

ANY HOW BEYONCE IS HOT IN THIS VIDEO ENJOY!!

beyonce - irreplaceable

2007-03-08T22:08:00.001-05:00

2007-03-07T22:41:00.000-05:00

STAYTUNED! SWEETGYRL IS INTERVIEWING THE LOVELY UP & COMING GORGEOUS SONGSTRESS!

MS. HANNAH FROM OUT OF NONE OTHER THAN THE PRESTIGIOUS VIRGINIA STATE UNIVERSITY!

MS. HANNAH IS BEING FEATURED AS THE

"ULTIMATE SWEETGYRL OF THE MONTH"

STAY TUNED FOR THE INTERVIEW!

2007-03-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

EXTRA EXTRA!!

STREETBOYZ2BIZNIZMEN ONLINE DIARY IS HERE!!

CHECK OUT :

www.streetboyz2biznizmen.blogspot.com

It is our brother company, we can't have all these good services and discussions for girls and not have any suitable cats for the girls! NO FAIR, we help one, we have to have comparable boys to grow into healthy MEN!! so here it is!!

2007-03-05T10:08:00.000-05:00

Who is a Sweetgyrl? You Are!

DREAMS. RELATIONSHIPS. ATTITUDES. Sweetgyrl is for teen girls striving to LIVE and BECOME. Be a part of a network of girls, all kinds of girls, with Sweetgyrl—online, in life. You probably have lots of people telling you what to do…but what do you want to do? What is your passion? What is your destiny? How do you begin? Sweetgyrl is all about you shaping your own experiences by setting goals and achieving !

Sweetgyrl is the ideal place to hang out with friends, try new challenges, share hopes and dreams, and plan for your future. Sweetgyrl — a future created for you, by you, about you!

FOLLOW YOUR TRUE PASSION - DO MORE OF WHAT YOU’RE
GOOD AT!

Sweetgyrl is Real Life!

It's a community of girls who want to make a difference in their lives and in the world and have fun while they do it. It has all of the things you love to do, from gossip and boy-talk, to healing and realizing your destiny . Whatever you want to do—it's here! Find out how to develop new leadership skills, improve the community, or ask for help to create your own group.
Sweetgyrl is Online too!

You can become part on the Sweetgyrl online community by regularly visiting the site. Give your opinions and get to know yourself better. At Sweetgyrl we are committed to discussing issues that affect the lives of teen girls in a nonjudgmental, personal way. Through honest writing, visuals and peer mentoring, we try to give girls a new way of looking at subjects that are crucial to their lives.

We hope to provide connection and identification in a way that is not possible in other media. Our content deals frankly with sexuality, emotions, body image, etc. Sweetgyrl allows them to use their voices through programs and relationships that empower girls to develop their individual strengths and unlimited potential.

2007-03-05T09:47:00.000-05:00

"WHY I WISH I WOULD HAVE STAYED A VIRGIN"

HELP! I KEEP ATTRACTING JERKS!

I FEEL ITS IMPORTANT TO HELP GIRLS OVERCOME LOW SELF ESTEEM NOW!

OTHER WISE THEY WILL GO THROUGH LIFE ATTRACTING AND HAVING LOVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE SAME TYPE OF GUYS!

When I broke up with my ex from high school, I took note on the kinds of guys I kept getting! on one level or another, they were all jerks! or should I say non-committal, emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or some other unbearably negative trait.

So I had to ask myself well gee, what the hell am I sending off that I keep getting these kinds of dudes?? I mean am not ugly, am cute if you ask me! I am educated, I love God, I drive a nice car, I dress my tail off!, I can cook, I am clean! I can keep a house, I have great conversation! what is the problem? One loser after another. I had to go start my introspection... now me continually attracting the same kind of man, did not get the "Clowns" off the hook! "They were, who they were".

I think the biggest mistake I made was dating someone from church! I thought I had it! His mom was a minister, he loved his mom, he had sisters so he respected women (so I thought).
He held a good job, no children, saved money, went to church, dressed nice, smelled good. The ideal bachelor, right? WRONG! AGAIN! BUT YOU WILL READ ABOUT THAT IN
"THE GUY FROM CHURCH" more on that later!

So anyway... I found this article/interview on the web, that I found quite interesting. see below!

Dear Trish, I don't know why, but I keep attracting jerks. My last three relationships have been with men who stepped out on me or otherwise played me for a fool. I'm a reasonably well-adjusted and successful lady, so why do I always attract bad boys? —
In a Romantic Rut in Reston, Va.

Dear Romantic Rut, Many women find themselves in your shoes. And even if those shoes are famed Manolo Blahniks, they're not good ones to be in. Let's be honest: Bad boys are beguiling. There's a mystique about them, an alluring je ne sais quois that's terribly hard to ignore. Despite being philanderers and con artists, they manage to spin their bad-boy ways into something that appeals to our own egos. "He's had the rest," we think. "Now he can have the best." We like the challenge of winning over a player. And we kid ourselves into thinking that simply because we're fabulous he'll be willing to change his ways and settle down with us. And once he's seen our light, he wouldn't dare go back. Except, of course, he almost always does go back. Early and often. And, more often than not, we gals wind up dating another bad boy. Patterns, RR, are hard to break — his patterns and yours.

Step #1 Do a quick review of your past boyfriends. You say they've all been bad guys, so make a list of the things you found attractive about each of them. Odds are, the lists will be quite similar. Why are these traits important to you?

Asking yourself this question will help you learn more about what you really want in a man. Is there a way to get a guy that isn't self-destructive?

For example, perhaps you like a man who gives you a little space. A player gives you space, but only so he can pursue other women. A better man would spend that time pursuing his interests.

The player's behavior is detrimental to you and your relationship. The better man's behavior strengthens each of you as individuals, thereby creating a stronger couple.

Step #2 Next, reflect on your role in each relationship. Were there any signs that you were heading into dangerous waters? Maybe he had a bad reputation. Or perhaps he flirted a little too much with the waitresses.

He might even have been missing in action a little too often. If you really scrutinize, you'll likely find that you were handed a warning early on — but chose to ignore it. Write down the signs and prepare a quick exit if you see them again.

Step #3 This one's hard, but you need to face the fact that these players are in your life because you allow them to be. Check your self-esteem. You say you're "reasonably well-adjusted," but I urge you to dig a little deeper at why you repeatedly allow men to run around on you. You're not a bad person, RR, but you need to change your thinking. You deserve to be treated better, but that will only happen if you put out a "no horseplay, no exceptions" vibe.

Look to family and friends for help in building your confidence and learning how to get what you want. If that doesn't work, you can always seek the services of a skilled life counselor or therapist. Taking ownership of your past and learning to ask for what you need in the present are the first steps in securing a brighter future. Step #5 While you're working on all this, don't stop dating.

But do be a little choosier. Use these dates to test-drive your preferences and get comfortable with your new outlook. Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the first decent guy you meet, however.

Take time to get to know him and keep an eye out for your warning signs (without being too paranoid). Just take it easy and take each date as it comes, in its own moment. Who knows? You might find a good man instead of another bad boy. Keep me posted on your progress.

NOW I MUST SAY THIS IS ALL EASIER SAID THAN DONE! ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A PATTERN OF DOING THIS, PATTERNS ARE HARD TO BREAK! YOU HAVE TO CONSCIOUSLY CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE AND CHANGE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS HABIT PATTERNS.

THAT IS WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO HELP OUR YOUNG WOMEN EARLY, TO LEARN SELF LOVE AND SELF RESPECT!

2007-03-05T08:58:00.000-05:00

MORE ABOUT KIMBERLY & "THE TRUTH BEHIND SWEETGYRL"

As a broken young women, seeking the acceptance of my peers, and always feeling left out and abandoned, and alone. It was predicted that I would not amount to anything or be anything, but somehow I always felt that there was something more or bigger coming out of life for me. I was made fun of, hated on, fought, kicked out, betrayed and abandoned many times, however I knew that I was not the only person that felt that way nor was I the only girl going through what I was going through, I knew there was hope for me even tho my circumstances stated that there was none.

The part of me that is a dreamer, I was once broken, emotionally, and it’s the part of me that wants to see young women step up their game in life and stop settling for less than wat I wanted.

Kimberly Bowles, Founder and CEO

Kimberly Bowles is the original SweetGyrl! Drawing from her own life story and experience as a teenager fighting to survive in a home environment of continuing emotional abuse, the founding of SweetGyrl is the culmination of Kimberly’s personal road to self-development.
As an experienced professional speaker, trainer, entertainer, entrepreneur, and clinical therapist, she is truly a role model who can speak to the emotional, cultural, and societal roadblocks that exist for young urban women today.

At eighteen Kimberly left home to escape years of emotional torment and rejection at the hands of her own family. At times homeless and in shelters, she struggled alone to raise her little son Samuel. Thus began a long process of exploration, education, and purposeful self-development. In time she rose above what she was taught about herself at home in order to find her own way – and make a new life - by continuing her education, working hard, finding the right mentors, and exposing herself to all types of new experiences and opportunities. She learned to value herself apart from the environment that produced her, eventually growing to self love, achievement, and personal fulfillment. A success story in her own right, her vision is to provide the same development opportunities she made for herself to young women everywhere who need support and direction on their own roads to personal success.

As an experienced educator and facilitator, Kimberly has trained many individuals and groups in traditional classroom, individual, and therapeutic settings. She has developed and taught programs for traditional and non-traditional counseling and intervention, various components for employment success and career development, diversity awareness, parenting, and for the professional development of Case Managers and other educators and trainers. She is a Clinician with a Masters in Education from Cambridge College of Massachusetts and earned two undergraduate degrees from Charter Oak State College of Connecticut. She is also a professionally trained actress and entertainer with credits on stage and screen that include Annie, The Fan, and HBO’s The Wire. Kimberly and her family live in Maryland.

2007-03-04T16:41:00.000-05:00

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES AND TEEN GYRLS, NOW WE HAVE POLITICS INVOLVED, LET'S GET IT TOGETHER PARENTS! THIS ARTICLE BELOW IS WHAT I CALL EXTREME.

When I was growing up, my mom was a church lady, which led to "When I got kicked out of the house at 18"

When parenting and Christianity becomes dogmatic it is then unhealthy! You cant be over bearing and "punitive" in parenting, you are contributing to your child being insecure, dishonest, sneaking around, and rebellious!

Please look out for the continued saga in the book titled "The Truth Behind SweetGyrl" the strife's and struggles of one 18 year old that grew up in a home with a parent that meant well, however the overbearing, dogmatic, controlling, non supportive attitudes she had to encounter, promoted the planning of a pregnancy at the age of 18 and dating a young man who engaged in drug activity and led to domestic violence, homelessness, jail, shootings and much more.

Please stay tuned for the continued chapters!

March 2, 2007 New Rule: If you don't think your daughter getting cancer <http://dir.salon.com/topics/cancer/> is worse than your daughter having sex, <http://dir.salon.com/topics/sex/> then you're doing it wrong. Last year, science came up with a way to greatly reduce cervical cancer in young women.

It's a vaccine that prevents women from getting HPV, which is a sexually transmitted disease that acts as a gateway to the cancer. And the vaccine is so good, it could wipe out HPV.<http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/2007/02/02/hpv/index.html> I keep a stockpile near my hot tub, and I can tell you, that tingling sensation means it's really working. And I'd say that even without the endorsement deal. Now for the bad news: Not everyone is pleased with this vaccine. That prevents cancer. Christian parent groups and churches nationwide are fighting it. Bridget Maher -- no relation, and none planned -- of the Family Research Council says giving girls the vaccine is bad, because the girls "may see it as a license to engage in premarital sex."

http://judo.salon.com/RealMedia/ads/click_lx.ads/www.salonmagazine.com/opinion/content/large.html/1938426597/Right/default/empty.gif/39633231343836383435653833323930><http://judo.salon.com/RealMedia/ads/click_nx.cgi/www.salonmagazine.com/opinion/content/large.html@Right>Which is really a stretch. People don't get the vaccine for typhoid and say, "Great, now I can drink the sewer water in Bombay." It's like saying if you give a kid a tetanus shot she'll want to jab rusty nails in her feet. It's like being against a cure for blindness because it'll encourage masturbation. It's like being for salmonella poisoning in peanut butter because it'll discourage weirdos from spreading it on their ass and calling the dog. And yet, Sen. Tom Coburn of Oklahoma is another one who's anti-vaccine. He thinks if a teenage girl feels a little prick, she's gonna want to feel a whole lot more. But HPV shots don't cause promiscuity. Tequila shots do.

Everything your kids buy is sold to them with sex. The vaccine doesn't make them want to screw: MTV does. And hormones. And having moron parents they want to escape from. Hey, when you're 15 years old, breathing encourages sexual activity. But let's be frank: These <http://dir.salon.com/topics/christian/>Christian groups aren't just against the HPV shot; they're against family planning and <http://dir.salon.com/topics/condoms/> condoms and morning after pills -- they want to make sure sex is as dangerous as possible, so that kids know, if they sleep around and get an<http://dir.salon.com/topics/stds/> STD, that's God teaching them a lesson, and the lesson is, you should never have tried out for"American Idol" in the first place. There's only one kind of medical science that excites Christians, and that's anything that proves life begins earlier and earlier in the womb. If you could use stem cells to prove that life begins at foreplay, the pope would turn the Vatican into a lab. These people don't really want to see a cure for anything, except homosexuality. But as a parent, if you're so obsessed with abstinence<http://dir.salon.com/topics/abstinence/> you'd risk your kid's health, there's a word for what you are, but it's not "follower of Christ." It's not "moral."

It's not "Christian." It's not even "logical." So just admit it. You hate sex. It's OK to say you hate for the sake of hating. It hasn't hurt Dick Cheney. I hate to tell you this, Mrs. Maher, and Sen. Coburn, and anyone else who thinks a vaccine gives your girls a "license to have sex": Your daughter knows she doesn't need a license for sex. She's already on the Internet exchanging bondage fantasies with a German boy she met on MySpace. Forget HPV; she's already on to S/M. We all know, there's only one 100 percent proven method to make a woman abstinent -- marry her. (Editor's Note:

Cute concluding punchline and in sync with what much of the media believes about marriage, but contradicted by the largest, most scientific sex survey (National Opinion Research Center, U of Chicago, 1994) which found that married people have more sex than singles and enjoyed it more physically and emotionally.)

2007-03-04T15:58:00.000-05:00

"WHY I WISH I WOULD HAVE STAYED A VIRGIN PART 2"

THE MEDIA PROMOTES SEX TO TEEN GYRLS! SEXUAL PROMISCUITY!

READ ARTICLE BELOW, not only do young women deal with negative peer pressure at school but they are forced to deal with it when turning on the TV or reading magazines, am I going to be a corn ball and say don't let our daughters watch TV or read magazines! of course not! I like the magazines and TV, however we need to realistically help our daughters define beauty on their own terms as well as SELF RESPECT AND SELF LOVE!! Gyrls with low self esteem feel that they have to be pretty enough or sexy enough to get the attention of boyz! Studies show that boyz are not ready for the emotional responsibility that comes along with sex, they are in an EXPLORATION STAGE! HORMONES!

I understand allot of this is pop culture, but how far is too far, in rap we have to be ho'd down or bitched down! in Rock we have to be groupies! and the list goes on!

Don't believe the hype, define beauty on your own terms, Mothers get with your daughters and help them define WHO THEY ARE!!

Sexed-up images in media hurt young girls: study Tue Feb 20, 8:57 AM ET WASHINGTON (AFP) - Inescapable media images of sexed-up girls and women posing as adolescents can cause psychological and even physical harm to adolescents and young women, a study in the US has warned.ADVERTISEMENT The pressure of what experts call "sexualization" can lead to depression, eating disorders, and poor academic performance, said the report, released Sunday by the American Psychological Association.

"Sexualization of girls is a broad and increasing problem and is harmful to girls," it concluded.Adult women dressed as school girls in music videos, bikini-clad doll sin hot tubs, and sexually-charged advertisements featuring teenagers were among the many examples cited.Such omnipresent images -- on television and the Internet, in movie sand magazines -- can also have a negative effect on a young girl's sexual development, the study cautioned.Based on a comprehensive review of academic literature, the 66-page report noted that young adolescents and girls were particularly at risk "because their sense of self is still being formed."School performance can also suffer.

In one experiment cited,college-aged women were asked to try on and evaluate either a swimsuit or a sweater. While they waited for 10 minutes while wearing the garment, they completed a math test."The results revealed that young women in swimsuits performed significantly worse ... than those wearing sweaters. No difference were found for young men."The study, which includes numerous recommendations for concerned parents, coincides with a growing wave of public concern about the impact of highly sexed imagery.The fashion world has been in turmoil since public authorities in Madrid banned under-weight and under-age models from catwalks last year.

The Italian government and two top fashion associations followed suit,signing a code of ethics in December after top Brazilian model Ana Carolina Reston died of heart failure weighing only 40 kilos (88 pounds).In France, Health Minister Xavier Bertrand, concerned about the rise of eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia, recently asked a panel of experts to create a similar voluntary code for advertiser sand clothing designers on how the female body should be portrayed.Sunday's study said sexualization occurs when "a person's value comes only from his or her sexual appeal or behavior," when sexuality is inappropriately imposed, or when a person is sexually "objectified."

Looking at popular music videos, the authors quoted songs by the Pussycat Dolls, Kid Rock, and 50 Cent, emphasizing lyrics that they suggested sexually objectified women.The report said that "sexualization of women is particularly prominent in advertising," and singled out beer commercials as a major offender.Also cited was a Sketchers shoe ad that features pop singer Christina Aguilera dressed as a school girl in pigtails, with her shirt unbuttoned while licking a lollipop.

The popular Bratz dolls, the study noted, depict "girls marketed in bikinis, sitting in a hot tub, mixing drinks, and standing around,while the 'Boyz' play guitar and stand with their surf boards," it said. The dolls come dressed in miniskirts, fishnet stockings, and feather boas.The report called on parents to take a more active roll in helping to shape the sexual self-image of their children, and to exert consumer pressure on manufacturers and advertisers.In the United States, the sexualization of young girls became an issue of public debate after the 1999 murder of Jon Benet Ramsey, a six-year old beauty pageant contestant who put on makeup and adult clothes.Source: yahoo newshttp://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070220/ts_alt_afp/uschildrensex_070220135757

2007-03-04T15:19:00.000-05:00

Don't believe the hype! how do you tell teen gyrls that watch television to not believe the hype on how your "suppose" to look! It's really sad. Reason being that, many young gyrls have very very low self esteem due to the fact that the media "sells an image" it's the "Image Based" media.

It sells the way a girl is suppose to look, feel, and behave according to "societies" standards.

Unfortunately many young women are choosing to go way above and beyond to look a certain way. The way the media portrays young women, particularly teen girls, in my opinion degrades their self esteem and self worth! many times young women don't feel that they are pretty enough, sexy enough, or "enough" period because they don't look like rail thin models! Please read the article below for more info.

Love, Hugs, Kisses, Kimberlina! SweetGyrl Founder/CEO

model: Media turns women into objects Dan Berrett Pocono Record Writer March 02, 2007 EAST STROUDSBURG

In the 1970s, Ann Simonton was a piece of eye candy. As a model, she made the cover of the swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated and the pages of Glamour, Cosmopolitan and Vogue, among others.But even then, she sensed that this world was unreal; eating disorder sand insecurity plagued the beautiful crowd to which she belonged."

I was part of a system that was turning real people into things and objects," Simonton told an audience at East Stroudsburg University on Wednesday night. "It's much easier to hurt a thing." She found that out first-hand. In the same month that she made the cover of Seventeen magazine, Simonton was gang-raped at knife-point in broad daylight, she said.

The experience radicalized her, and cemented the connection she saw between how women are portrayed in the media and how they are treated in the real world. Simonton founded Media Watch, a watchdog group that teaches media literacy and challenges exploitative images. She has long protested advertisers whose images she calls hurtful and degrading, particularly to women and minorities.

She has picketed Miss America contests and dressed herself as a slab of meat during demonstrations. Her efforts have landed her in jail 11 times. On Wednesday, Simonton came to ESU at the invitation of the Department of Counseling and Psychological Services. Her talk focused on how media images distort women's notions of their bodies and men's ideas of women ‹ and of themselves.

"Our main goal is to become more critical viewers of the media," she said, as she projected examples of advertisements to ESU's half-filled Keystone Room. "We are duped into thinking that, because we have 500channels, we have a choice." Simonton scrolled through a gallery of ads, noting what she saw as the worst offenders ‹ mostly the fashion industry, alcohol companies and products pitched at teenage boys, such as skateboards and video games. The style of these images ranged from muted to explicit, and from artsy to cheeky. But in nearly all of them, women were depicted flat on their back or stomach, their legs parted come-hither style.

"Seldom do they stand on their own two feet," Simonton said."It's ubiquitous. The ads become banal," she said. "It changes how we think about ourselves."Media's role in creating unhealthy views of women has long been staple of feminist criticism. Fifteen years ago, Naomi Wolf's bestseller "The Beauty Myth" showed how marketers exploit women's vulnerabilities ‹ particularly those related to their bodies ‹ to sell products. It's fertile soil because the gap between media image and reality is so stark. The average American woman stands 5-feet-3-inches tall and weighs 163 pounds, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Women with these dimensions rarely appear in the media. "The image you're trying to emulate is something that is impossible," Simonton said.But many women still try.

Symptoms of eating disorders are presenting about 10 percent of late adolescent and adult women, according to the Academy of Eating Disorders.And it is the gap between aspiration and reality that marketers seize upon, Simonton said. "They want you to feel dis empowered so that you will fill it with consumption," she said.The notion that media manipulates people's insecurities for pure financial gain is being echoed by voices from across the political spectrum, from a self-described radical feminist like Simonton to the conservative Christian group, Focus on the Family, though it's a safe bet neither would see themselves as being in league with one another.

On Wednesday, Simonton showed other images, many of which showcased discrete parts of women's anatomy to the exclusion of all else. "Women are turned into one body part," she said, showing advertisements of women's mouths, legs, hair and rear end rendered in super close-up. Or others flashing their breasts."The question is not, 'Did she choose to do this?'" Simonton said referring to the models posing in the ads, or to the young women baring all in "Girls Gone Wild" videos. "It's 'How does this affect us?'"

To many, the effect has been a coarsened, violent and hyper sexualized culture, one that has seen young children clad in form-fitting "adult"clothing and pornography entering the mainstream.One of the true victims of this situation, in Simonton's eyes, is men.In ways that range from the subtle, overt or ironic, she argued that men are told that domination and violence of each other are the chief ways to be a man.An ad for an ultimate fighting video game came up on the screen behind her. "

Tired of talking about your feelings?" the ad asked, in front of an image of a fist pummeling someone in the face."Who's being hurt by male violence?" she asked. "Men are." In 2005,men were victimized by violent crime at 1.5 times the rate that women were, according to the Bureau of Justice Statistics. Simonton said that media images also affect men in subtler ways, by framing their ideas about women and their expectations for relationships.

She showed ads of men sitting dressed while women sat near them scantily clad, or in bondage."The unspoken rule is that men cannot be with their equal," she said."Men should be upset about this."

2007-02-21T02:03:00.000-05:00

Take the Path of Least Resistance Young Ladies! It's so easy to fall into the pits of what is happening in your enviroment, its so easy to do what everyone else is doing. Let me ask you this? What do you want? What would you dare to dream if there was a guarantee that nothing could stop you? What would you dare do if you thought that it was absolutely possible?

Think about that, SweetGyrl we teach the importance of dreaming without other people negative beliefs, and the nay-sayers of what your heart knows and says it wants, and can have!

Think about those questions, It's important!

Think about it, No nay-says, no blocks, nothing!

Dare to dream and Work to win!

Just wanted to throw that in there!

Stay Tuned for "The Pregnancy & the Baby"

COMING SOON! A CHANCE TO WIN A FREE COPY OF THE

"TRUTH BEHIND SWEETGYRL"

STAY TUNED......

2007-02-19T17:24:00.000-05:00

Please chek out SweetGyrl Inc recent interview with "THAT JOURNALIST" AT http://thatjournalist.blogspot.com/ .

This is information you don't want to miss, email me with comments and questions!!

Details of the interview are here as well!

Friday, February 16, 2007

Sweet Gyrl - helping "gyrls" live their dreams since 2005

"That Journalist" states,

"I had the pleasure of interviewing Ms. Kimberly, founder of SweetGyrl, Inc. I found her on MyBlogLog and was intrigued by the organization she had on her site, so I asked if she would mind if I put her interview on my site".

Fast forward two weeks and here it is! Read on to find out more about SweetGyrl and how you can help!

"What exactly is SweetGyrl"?

SweetGyrl, Inc, is an organization that promotes healthy lifestyles and living for young women. It's a venue that really gets them steered away from the grown up stuff that so many of our young women get caught up in.

For example, often times gyrls have hidden gifts like playing the flute, singing, gymnastics, acting. They have dreams, however they may live in an environment or go to a school environment that does not support that.

Your friends are all having sex, your friends are all in juvenile detention, your Friends are all haters and fight another group of girls, your mom was a teenage mom and is now living a life of struggle.That becomes your reality, that becomes your way of living and being.

Your best friend just brought home a new baby and she is beefing with the baby's father cause he is messing with another girl and she wants to fight her. All of this happening at 16!! Whew, how can you even begin to really dream or want more out of life. What you see is who you become - it's unfortunate but it's true. It happened to me, it's my story.

SweetGyrl is my story to simply put. Having worked as a Psychotherapist and in the school setting, I see it over and over and over again. It breaks my heart it really does. SweetGyrl is about dreams, helping gyrls live their dreams, keeping their dreams alive. So therefore, I created SweetGyrl Inc.

"Is it mainly online"?

SweetGyrl is all over the US online, its a forum for gyrls to have healthy chats and read about the struggles of other young women and be able to ask "Wow, I am going through that, how do you cope with that?"

We are also working to make SweetGyrl more like an after school program or to go even further more like an affordable Sylvan Learning Center but for gyrls, that is our long term vision.

So basically someone could buy the SweetGyrl product, logo, curriculum, etc, and set up shop and service youth in their community. All of this is in the works now, I have been looking to reach out to celebrities that believe in the idea for support, endorsement, and possibly sponsoring gyrls for the program.

It's huge and I love it, it takes time thought, but I really have vision for this program.When was it founded?SweetGyr was founded by me in 2005 at home in Maryland.

"Did you come up with the idea by yourself"?

Yes I did, I woke up one morning really early and it was put on my heart to create SweetGyrl, I wanted something that was really gyrlie and really fun, something I could dive into, something that felt soft and giggly and sweet. So I used the name SweetGyrl.

I was working as a Psychotherapist for a wrap around company (social services) keeps youth in the home by giving them home services.I woke up and said I want to create a training company that caters to gyrls only right now. So I hired an assistant and I told her what I wanted and we got to writing and thus SweetGyrl was born.

Please check out www.sweetgyrlnetwork.blogspot.com for updates, I am also writing a book called "The Truth behind SweetGyrl" and also the website, http://www.sweetgyrl.org/.

"What type of promotion are you doing to spread the word"?

Well since its only me, I have been doing blogging, and joining online forums. I also contacted Eva Longoria's publicist Liza Anderson, and we tried to get Eva, but her schedule did not permit. So now we are basically trying to revamp and restructure our marketing approach.

"What do you hope to accomplish with this"?

I am hoping that young women will see this program as their way of saying, "Yes, I can still live my dreams!" We offer assessments that help gyrls get to the core of what they really want and dream big dreams.

We help them set up goals that bring the dream alive! We help them stay focused, no matter what it is they want, and we point out to them that what they see right now does not negate their future at all. I want gyrls to dream and enjoy this time with themselves!

They only get to be gyrls once, enjoy it RIGHT NOW!

See http://www.sweetgyrlnetwork.blogspot.com/for updates and ongoing information on the meat and potatoes of how SweetGyrl came about and what's happening.

Go to http://www.sweetgyrl.com/ for more information!

Written by That Journalist
at 3:28 PM 2 comments just for me!

Also stay tuned to see the interview appear on http://babymahogony.com/

2007-02-17T15:53:00.000-05:00

"Why I wish I would have stayed a Virgin"

I had chosen one "unsuccessful" relationship after another. Nothing ever lasted, and on some levels they were "All Abusive" whether Emotional, Physical, Abandonment, ect. This went well into me being an adult, until one day, as one author would put it "My soul just opened up" and I said "NO MORE SHEETS"! as another inspirational Author would put it.

I wish I had stayed a virgin because, I would have had more self-esteem and confidence. I would have focused more on me, and the activities that I wanted for my life.

For whatever reason, I felt that being a Virgin, I was missing out on something, that boys would not want me, and if they knew I was a Virgin, they would have only wanted one thing. I also felt that I would keep my boyfriend, if I did not give him what he wanted, I was afraid that someone else would take him from me and give it to him and satisfy him, I was afraid of losing him.

Self esteem was shot, he totally disrespected me afterwards, he stayed whatever I mean whatever came to his mouth or hands. Also, as a teen my self worth was totally shot as well. Some would disagree with what I am saying, however research after research shows this to be true.

It gets even worst when you start to date men that won't commit, or don't want to put a title on the relationship, or cannot tell you after years of dating, sexual intimacy, and emotional intimacy where the relationship is headed or what he wants out of it, or is he even sure that its you that he wants! All the while he is keeping his options open for something even better (in his mind) This is damaging to young women's self esteem and self worth, she starts to wonder, hmm, what is wrong with me? what am I doing wrong? how come, ect, ect.

EXCERPTS FROM THE BOOK "The Truth behind SweetGyrl"

Read below.

Virgins Make the Best Valentine's Valentine tradition that works.National Review OnlineFeb 14, 2007By Patrick F. Fagan, when out-of-wedlock births are nearing 40 percent, when most children will reach age 18 without both of their parents together, celebrating St.

Valentine's Day has less and less the note of joy and romance in it.Yet America needs a real Valentine tradition precisely because the messages we give our teenagers pushes more and more young men and women to reject each other rather than to belong to each other. The vast majority of teenage young men putting on condoms and teenage young women taking the pill has no intention of marrying those whom they bed. They join in the embrace meant to last forever, knowing all the while that they will likely walk away from each other.

Thus they reject ‹ and get used to being rejected ‹ in their intimate lives, and in the process build not a culture of belonging and romance but one of rejection and suffering. They pay a price bigger than most suspect.A few years ago Robert Rector and Kirk Johnson of the Heritage Foundation did an analysis of the 1995 National Survey of Family Growth and found that for women 30 or older those who were monogamous(only one sexual partner in a lifetime) were by far most likely to be still in a stable relationship (80 percent).

Sleeping with just one extra partner dropped that probability to 54 percent. Two extra partners brought it down to 44 percent. Who would have thought that the price of sleeping with even one partner would lead to divorce for almost half of those who had only one extra tryst?It would seem virgins make not only the best Valentines but the best mothers ‹ for raising children well means developing their capacity to be married parents who know how to stay married and how to select a mate who can do the same ‹ a long-term task made for two parents who love each other.

Making babies is the easy part of parenting: It hardly takes any effort or acculturation, hence all the effort Planned Parenthood puts into its agenda.Today in our culture everyone, even Planned Parenthood sometimes,passes on to girls the cultural script that mothers and children belong together. But the difficult script of 3male and female together forever2 gets little attention.

Sexual attraction or the falling in love comes easy ‹ no scripting is required for that. Even belonging together for a while comes easily enough. It is only after the"delightful madness" of being in love fades that the long haul of truelove begins. It is virgin women who have the greater capacity to find the men capable of it.But fewer and fewer of our young men are capable of this long haul.Consider how teenage boys are being scripted.

How many pick up the message that it is best to have as many women as possible, versus those who pick up the message to find 3their one and only true love2?How many get the predator/hunter message instead of the message to become the "protector of their love"?It is easy for men to take to the predator message; it may even seem to be hardwired. By contrast it takes a massive cultural effort to make the protector lesson take hold among men. Most cultures (not ours anymore, alas) have put enormous energy into the protector message because the children of each generation need their fathers at home with them. Almost a quarter of our children are aborted today, 80percent outside of marriage, while 60 percent of those who do manage to make it alive through the birth canal eventually end up with their parents rejecting each other.

We, the United States, have become one huge culture of rejection.While 80 percent of the virgins in the Rector-Johnson study above maintained a stable relationship, 20 percent failed. That data set cannot tell us but I suspect that many of these latter virgins were foolish enough to trust themselves to a "predator"-scripted male.Meanwhile, their non-virgin sisters who married after they had given their virginity to someone other than their husbands were all by no means doomed to divorce, but the data indicate the majority was. From Steve Nock's research on Virginia divorces, we know that roughly two thirds were initiated by the wives.

Extrapolating from Rector-Johnson's research I bet most of the wives in Example did not come to their husbands as virgins, but before marriage were already used to rejection and rejecting and to moving on to another man. This is just a hypothesis and it may be proved wrong, but checking it out will make for a very interesting study.In the meantime, for the young people who want to have a lifelong valentine in their future, the lesson is already clear:

Consider virginity. It is the natural prequel to the love that lasts.‹ Patrick F. Fagan, is the William H.G. FitzGerald Fellow at the Heritage Foundation.National Review Online -http://article.nationalreview.com/?q=MGNiODQ4YmEzMjc1ODc1YTYwNmIxM2Q5ZWZkZmE3YTM= *********************

2007-02-17T00:56:00.000-05:00

EXTRA EXTRA, SWEETGYRL HAS JUST BEEN INERVIEWED BY THE ONLINE MAGAZINE, MAHOGONY BABY, STAY TUNED FOR INTERVIEW DETAILS!! www.mahogonybaby.com

2007-02-11T12:35:00.000-05:00

KEEPING THE DREAM ALIVE! OUR DREAMS! YOUTH'S DREAMS, ESCAPING VIOLENCE AND PEER PRESSURE IS WHAT ITS ABOUT!! Get any teens you know in the Tri State Area to the Free Teens Media Summit.

We will hold our 4th annual Free Teens Media Summit on March 23-25 at the Fairview Lake Camp in Newton, NJ. The Media Summit brings together creative artists and NY/NJ area media professionals with teens seeking to use their talents to create an alternative culture that honors healthy man-woman relationships.

Featured workshops will include a presentation on Hip Hop Culture &Media Literacy and sessions on1) Theater Performance 2) Visual Art/Murals 3) Video Production 4) Recording Your Own Music 5) Swing and Hip Hop 6) Photo Journalism- Main Dining Room7) Spoken Word (Poetry)Students will have the opportunity to work together with others in their area of greatest interest under the guidance of media professionals in the areas of theater, visual art, Swing and Hip Hop dance, music recording, video (Music, documentary, or narrative video), Photojournalism and Spoken word and to share their group efforts at the conclusion of the weekend!

And, also, meet new friend sand have fun!To see a video overview of the Media Summit, a schedule and the summit application, visit (http://culturemachine.com/)! And pass the word to your friends and any aspiring teen media artists you know!

2007-02-11T11:50:00.000-05:00

SweetGyrl Promotes Abstinence. Reason being? Gyrls are not ready for the emotional responsibility that comes with sex. Especially if they already have a low self esteem or they are trying to get away from something or someone (home, mom, abusive environment). Gyrls are very emotional beings for the most part, and they are needy (its true). Boys develop and mature at a slower rate than gyrls. Emotionally they are simply not there.

Read this article, it ties into SweetGyrl's beliefs and philosophy, also read "The Boyfriend" it ties in perfectly and it gives a perfect real life scenario of why young women should not engage in sexual behavior.

Also check out http://www.sweetgyrl.org/.

Reuters Health February 5, 2007http://www.reutershealth.com/en/index.html Sex of any kind can harm teens emotionally Last Updated: 2007-02-05 9:08:18 -0400 (Reuters Health)By Amy Norton NEW YORK (Reuters Health) - Teenagers often suffer emotional consequences from having sex, even when it's "only" oral sex, a study published Monday suggests. Researchers at the University of California San Francisco found that up toone-half of the sexually active teenagers in their study said they'd ever felt "used," guilty or regretful after having sex. Though such feelings were less common among teens who'd only had oral sex,about one-third reported some type of negative consequence.

Dr. Sonya S. Brady and Bonnie L. Halpern-Felsher report the findings in the journal Pediatrics. The study, according to the researchers, suggests that parents should be sure to talk with their kids about the potential negative effects of having oral sex, not only intercourse. "When parents and teens talk about the consequences of having 'sex,' they may not take the time to define what sex is," Brady and Halpern-Felshernoted in comments to Reuters Health. "It is important for parents to help teens understand that having oral sex may result in social, emotional and physical health consequences --just as having vaginal sex may result in these consequences." In particular, the study found, girls were twice as likely as boys to say they'd ever "felt bad about themselves" after having sex, and three times more likely to say they'd felt used.

Though the study could not look at the reasons for this difference, other studies have noted that there's pressure on girls to at once be sexually attractive yet resist having sex. "In contrast, boys' sexuality and sexual behavior is generally accepted,"Brady and Halpern-Felsher pointed out. "Parents can play an important role in helping to eliminate this double standard by encouraging respect for women and discouraging the use of derogatory sexual terms." The findings are based on a series of surveys given to 618 students at two public high schools, beginning in ninth grade when they were 14 years old.Of these, 275 reported having oral sex, vaginal sex or both by the spring of tenth grade. Among the sexually active teens, those who said they'd had only oral sex were generally less likely to report negative consequences, whether physical-- pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections -- or emotional.

However, they were also less likely to report positive effects, like feeling closer to their partner or feeling good about themselves. Such positive feelings about sex were common, the study found. In fact, the teens more often reported positive effects than negative ones. This suggests that when parents talk with their kids about sex, it might be a good idea to acknowledge the potential positive outcomes, like emotional intimacy, Brady and Halpern-Felsher note in their report. Parents could then talk about other ways to find those same feelings.

SOURCE: Pediatrics, February 2007.

2007-02-10T15:29:00.000-05:00

Technorati Profile

2007-02-01T15:15:00.000-05:00

Part 2 "The Boyfriend"

"The Baby & The Pregnancy"

As stated I walked up to the back of the school and there my supposed boyfriend was "he stripped me of the title" was talking to my arch enemy. They started dating.

I was embarrassed, appalled, and hurt, hey but what do you do? It's now entering the summer of 89, and 12th grade was right around the corner, heck it was the last day of school.

I remember having another argument at home with my mom, and guess what? I was told to get out! This becoming redundant. Again not having anywhere to go, I stayed with a friend that was pregnant. She put me up and her family embraced me. It was a difficult summer for what ever reasons the economy was in a slump, I could not find a job and that was a rarity.

I was sooo tired of not having anywhere to stay. It seemed like that was all my mom liked to do was kick me out. I had serious abandonment issues.

I left my pregnant friends house for a bit, and stayed with another friend, at least I thought she was, she sent me to her sisters house who had her own apartment.

I remember suspecting that this girl might have been on drugs, but I was never exposed to that so I was not sure. I was sleeping one night in the bedroom that was loaned to me. I woke up and there were 2 guys standing over me. I was like what are you guys doing over me, they were rude and cocky, they were older teens. I remember having the "scariest" feeling that something really bad was about to happen to me, had I not woke up.

We had a verbal altercation and of course I made noise and they left the room. I was in the room later the next door and over heard my so-called friend and her sister talking very negatively about me with some other girls that did not like me, (they were lying on me).

I ended up leaving there as I knew it was not going to be a pretty situation.

At that point I ended back up with my friend (who was pregnant) and she led me to her grandmother.

Her Grandmother told my mom I was pregnant, my mom gave her a trash bags with my clothes and bad mouthed me to her.

I was devastated when she came back and told me what my mom said about me. This was just so crazy for me.

The truth is, I was tired of being kicked out and not having a place to live. I was tired of not having stability in my life, so I planned my pregnancy....

Stay tuned for "The Shelter & Physical Abuse during the pregnancy"

2007-01-31T23:16:00.000-05:00

Please enjoy chapters and excerpts from the highly anticipated Book

"The Truth Behind Sweetgyrl".

Chapter 2 "The Boyfriend"

I was 17 he was 16, we went to high school together, we met in 1986, I was in 9 th grade. He was cool, he was not my type tho, but a faithful friend, easy to talk to and lots of fun. Tho I found him to be a bit of a pervert at times, (sneakingly touching me when I walked by him the hallway at school).

I left the school for one year to attend business school for 10th grade we kept in touch over the phone and we would talk for hours at a time. He saw beauty in me that other boys did not take the time to see, and he would say it whenever people tried to dog me, so I liked him for that and as that.

11th grade came I was 17 and came back to his school (trade school). He seemed different, and smoother, he dressed nicer he got taller and he was actually more handsome (again still not my type, I like pretty boys, the Al B. Sure type, LOL, then again what girl didn't), so we started hanging out and chilling together.

After a while we ended up on the phone more, he always complimented me on how I blossomed and looked different. I use to share with him what I was going through with my mom and home life. He knew I had siblings way younger than me, my brother 7 years younger and my sister 14 years younger.

Anyway, he started coming over after school to hang out with me more often. I felt myself liking him more and, I started feeling connected to him. He was a great listener and a Taurus like me (lol, I love the sign thing). We made it official we would start dating; however it was trouble from the start.

The haters found out we were dating and would say things like yuk "Why are you dating her" or "What do you see in her?" ect, ect.

He came over more and more after school while my mom was at work and one thing led to another. We started kissing more, and becoming more and more closer. I would tease him and act like I was going to go all the way, but then say stop last minute, I was scared to go there, plus I was a church girl and I was babysitting my siblings all the time, so I did not want to go there.

One day he was over after school and we got to kissing and getting hot and bothered, and he was ready to go all the way, when I realized that this was going to really happened right at the last moment I YELLED STOP, YOUR HURTING ME, STOP!! he did not stop, he kept going (see guys back then felt no was yes, but it isn't), It was painful and very disturbing, It happened, I lost my virginity. I felt violated and weird, I screamed so loud my brother took the hinges off the back door to make sure I was OK, He was 10 years old.

I never saw my boyfriend the same, I stayed with him. Self esteem issues will really make you do some strange things.

I noticed whenever we were on the phone and we had arguments, he would start swearing at me and calling me names and hanging up on me, I could not believe how his behavior changed, but I felt like I was addicted, caught up, reeled in. It was crazy, I needed someone a sense of belonging a sense of being a part of. So I stayed with him. (But, I asked where was my friend?)

The Spring came, and our relationship was the pits but I hung in there, and the intimacy continued. One day he let me use a gold ring of his. When he would come over, he would say I need my ring back, and I wanted to keep it so I said I don't know where it is.

There was a plastic bat that my brother had sitting in the living room, He asked me again for the ring and I thought he was playing so I said I did not know where it was. He then took the bat and went crazy on me with it. I could not believe he was hitting me and demanding his ring, I was like this guy is an Animal, I tried to fight back, but got it worst, again, my little brother came in from outside, and called ALL my cousins, they were at the house in 5 min and they cornered him

I did not want to lose my boyfriend (what boyfriend) so I told them to please not beat him up, I felt that I still wanted to be with him ( I really did not like myself).

We continued to date but he took the title of "boyfriend from me" so I figured I better hang in there because I did not want anyone else to have him and maybe he would see, one day that I was good.

It was the last day of school I had not heard from him in about a week, which I thought was odd, I walked up the back of the school and there he was, making mess face with my worst enemy, who was also known as the school "ho". I was devastated and crushed, I could not believe my eyes......

The Saga continues of "When I got kicked out of the house at 18"

Stay tuned for, "The Pregnancy & The Baby"

2007-01-31T00:25:00.000-05:00

"When I Got Kicked Out the House at 18."

Young women out there need to hear this story. It's real, allot of young women end up in situations like I did, but often time don't have the endurance or the strength to recover from the situation. Or they continue the cycle, and stay in pain.

I was talking to someone the other day and they stated to me that I really needed to be careful telling the wrong people my story because they will take it and twist and use it as leverage to judge and look down.

My thoughts on that is, There are countless young women in America that need to know that whatever the negation of yesterday, this does not equal your future, you choose your future. I can't be worried about haters or negative people. This is a story about life and blessings.

"When I Got Kicked Out the House at 18."

Its was in the Northeast and it was cold. It really started when I was 16, I was never trusted, respected, appreciated or anything. I was the most hated girl in school, everybody wanted to fight me, sometimes I had no idea why I was even fighting? it did not make sense to me. But i had to defend myself, the oldest of 3 siblings, growing up in America, coming here from Panama, living with a family with really strong Panamanian values and culture, initially not speaking the English language, I just felt like I had many obstacles against me.

To top it off, I did not get along with my mom, nor did I have or know my dad. I heard many stories about him but I never met him personally, I often wondered "Why did he not try to find me?" Did he know I was in the US (that's another story).

My mom was a teenage mom, she had me at 18. She struggled to raise me, I saw her go through allot, she was a devout Christian, and VERY VERY STRICT, in my opinion I could never do anything right, she was not approachable, she was always right, it was her way or no way.

She worked in the Medical field, therefore I was home all the time with my younger brother and sister, my free time was very very limited, I was always an outgoing person looking for action and fun, I was constrained to church and reading the bible, which at the time was very very boring to me, besides church was wayyyy toooo long. Mind you, it was a rude awakening, I came from Curtis Mayfield, Jerry Butler, Isaac Hayes, to the Andrew Sisters,& Shirley Cesar. It happened fast!! (trust me I love the Lord tho) Anyway, mom worked a lot, I could never go outside talk on the phone or do anything! everything was so restrictive and penal. Often time I would be on the phone and mom would be on the other end listening, not only did she listen but she but in and embarrassed me on the spot.

Whenever I asked to go anywhere, I would be walking down the street and my mom would pull up and ask me where I was going, I ( I just so happened to be coming out of a store on my way to where I was going) and she would literally embarrass me, by slapping me in public, to the point where, my nose would bleed, it was horrible. I could not believe this, this was going on the majority of my life, the restrictiveness, the rules, the pressure, to be an older sister and daughter with adult responsibilities and no free time.

I cleaned the house, I washed the dishes, I took out the trash, I watched the kids, however I could not do anything or go anywhere unless it was church related, which led me to sneaking around, lying, and keeping things from mom.

Therefore the trust was not there. After the nose bleeding incident at the Library at 16, I walked back to the house, she got out of the car, and the real games began, the slapping started again, it had to be about 26 degrees outside. I could not take it, I pushed her away and the real fighting began, we struggled and tussled a neighbor came out and watched my mom pound on me.

That was the series of more tussles and tussles that had been going on all along. I was kicked out, I was in 10th grade it was 1987. I had no clothes, I was bloodied. No where to go, I had no real Friends, I went to a friends house, she gave me a clean change of clothes and under clothes to go to school. I went to school the next day and reported my mom "quietly" to child protective services, she thought it was the neighbor, it wasn't it was me.

**There may some members of my family that may not like this, however its my story, its no way to degrade my mom, its to tell the struggles of a teen girl trying to be safe and supported and understood**

I was removed from the house for 30 days, but no one ever got counseling, my mom blamed it all on the neighbor and I agreed. I could not tell her it was me.

I went back home I was going to be 17 in a few months, guess what, I was kicked out again within about 90 days, see my problem was that I never had the freedom to be me or express myself ever, I was always severely restrictive, my mom was advised to keep a leash on me as child, to break my will because I would try to rule her when I got older, the ass whippings started. It was crazy, my spirit was being broken every day, the problem was, I had too much spirit, I refused to be broken, my dreams were way too strong, there had to be more to life and at 9 years old when the madness started, I hung on, but little did anyone know, how lonely, sad, and broken I was inside, all they saw was attitude and rebellion.

When I went to school it was no good, I needed special ed services that went over looked, mom only got bad news from school and I would continue to be pounded on, and told how bad and rebellious I was. I had fights in school because I was the smallest one in the close with the biggest voice, ( I was a smart ass too) so the bigger kids wanted to teach me a lesson, and I was not having it. So I fought back. However I was very angry, no one knew what was going on at home. I could never tell till I was 16.

Back to 17 and getting kicked out again at 17. It was the summer of 88, we had an argument, and again I heard the words "Get Out" I was like what? where am I suppose to go, I was in 11th grade. I was just straight pissed, I think I heard get out so much it became my name LOL. Hey get out! what! Get out! I was like Damn! LOL that was funny you gotta humor in this right??

I stayed with some spanish friends of mine for about 4 weeks, thank God I had a job so I had money, they embraced me, but her mom became uncomfortable because she wondered was she doing anything illegal by keeping me at her house. So we contacted my mom and went back home, however I was scared cause I knew I was going to get kicked out again. I got tired of being homeless. I was depressed, I had enemies in the streets cause I seemed to always fight the most popular people and fought me for something I know I did not say, again, I was always rolling alone and I was not having being punked or disrespected so I fought back and very seldom ever lost, (not bragging) but that's how much fight and anger I had in me, I just wanted to be left alone and not taken lightly and disrespected. However it was a subconscious pattern I had developed, it was what I attracted and was use to.

My question at that moment was "Who is going to take care of me" I knew I was alone, I had people around me but I was always alone internally.

I was like damn nobody likes me, Don't get along with my mom, people want to pound on me and no dad! My punishments never fit my crime, meaning, I would tell someone I thought I could trust that I did not like someone, then they would tell them, and then they would come back with an ENTIRE POSSY of big chics to stomp me, LOL, I was like man, I take it back! these chics were huge! mind you I stood 4'11 1/2 and weighed 110 lbs.

"When I Got Kicked Out the House at 18."

Stayed tuned for Chapter 2

"The Boyfriend"

2007-01-27T13:40:00.000-05:00

Another thing, I just think its so important to teach girls/boys the skills necessary to succeed in life in general, especially girls of color. I remember leaving home at 18 (well I got kicked out) and not having any skills for life, mistakes on application, resumes, never knowing how to budget my accounts, accounts always in the negative! I cant tell you how many girls I have trained that just simply don't have a clue as to how to successfully prepare themselves for success.

I must also say, we got to lose the attitude. At the end of the day no one owes us anything! Its sad because as young women, we have no guidance and some where along the way someone did not do right by us, or someone imposed their limiting beliefs on us and we totally believed it, now we go through life struggling and not having enough belief in ourselves to be successful and make it.

Please lets join together and help our young women and men, www.streetboyz2biznizmen.com is coming soon!

I have a 16 year old son, we went to fill out a job application and I literally saw my baby making mistakes and leaving things blank and not mention his handwriting was off. I took for granted that he automatically knew these things because I was his mom and this what I teach, however It really made me sit back and think again and thus streetboyz2biznizmen cam foreword.

I can graciously say that now my baby knows how to fill out applications and he even has a resume!

Lets teach our young people please! Equip them for life!

2007-01-27T13:32:00.000-05:00

Hello, my name is Kim and I am the Founder & CEO of SweetGyr Inc, www.sweetgyrl.org and I guess what has always puzzled me as a former High School Teacher and Psychotherapist now turned Coach! www.trulifevision.com.

Why do gyrls so hate each other? what is the problem, it often baffles me, I mean even at 3o something, I still catch heat from other women! its amazing to me.

Well I am interested in breaking the cycle, boy is that a big job! but I really want ask women out there what is the problem? and how can we help our young women to stop the madness! any suggestions!! tell me please~

"The Truth Behind SweetGyrl"

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