"WHY I WISH I WOULD HAVE STAYED A VIRGIN"

HELP! I KEEP ATTRACTING JERKS!

I FEEL ITS IMPORTANT TO HELP GIRLS OVERCOME LOW SELF ESTEEM NOW!

OTHER WISE THEY WILL GO THROUGH LIFE ATTRACTING AND HAVING LOVE RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE SAME TYPE OF GUYS!

When I broke up with my ex from high school, I took note on the kinds of guys I kept getting! on one level or another, they were all jerks! or should I say non-committal, emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or some other unbearably negative trait.

So I had to ask myself well gee, what the hell am I sending off that I keep getting these kinds of dudes?? I mean am not ugly, am cute if you ask me! I am educated, I love God, I drive a nice car, I dress my tail off!, I can cook, I am clean! I can keep a house, I have great conversation! what is the problem? One loser after another. I had to go start my introspection... now me continually attracting the same kind of man, did not get the "Clowns" off the hook! "They were, who they were".

I think the biggest mistake I made was dating someone from church! I thought I had it! His mom was a minister, he loved his mom, he had sisters so he respected women (so I thought).
He held a good job, no children, saved money, went to church, dressed nice, smelled good. The ideal bachelor, right? WRONG! AGAIN! BUT YOU WILL READ ABOUT THAT IN
"THE GUY FROM CHURCH" more on that later!

So anyway... I found this article/interview on the web, that I found quite interesting. see below!

Dear Trish, I don't know why, but I keep attracting jerks. My last three relationships have been with men who stepped out on me or otherwise played me for a fool. I'm a reasonably well-adjusted and successful lady, so why do I always attract bad boys? —
In a Romantic Rut in Reston, Va.

Dear Romantic Rut, Many women find themselves in your shoes. And even if those shoes are famed Manolo Blahniks, they're not good ones to be in. Let's be honest: Bad boys are beguiling. There's a mystique about them, an alluring je ne sais quois that's terribly hard to ignore. Despite being philanderers and con artists, they manage to spin their bad-boy ways into something that appeals to our own egos. "He's had the rest," we think. "Now he can have the best." We like the challenge of winning over a player. And we kid ourselves into thinking that simply because we're fabulous he'll be willing to change his ways and settle down with us. And once he's seen our light, he wouldn't dare go back. Except, of course, he almost always does go back. Early and often. And, more often than not, we gals wind up dating another bad boy. Patterns, RR, are hard to break — his patterns and yours.

Step #1 Do a quick review of your past boyfriends. You say they've all been bad guys, so make a list of the things you found attractive about each of them. Odds are, the lists will be quite similar. Why are these traits important to you?

Asking yourself this question will help you learn more about what you really want in a man. Is there a way to get a guy that isn't self-destructive?

For example, perhaps you like a man who gives you a little space. A player gives you space, but only so he can pursue other women. A better man would spend that time pursuing his interests.

The player's behavior is detrimental to you and your relationship. The better man's behavior strengthens each of you as individuals, thereby creating a stronger couple.

Step #2 Next, reflect on your role in each relationship. Were there any signs that you were heading into dangerous waters? Maybe he had a bad reputation. Or perhaps he flirted a little too much with the waitresses.

He might even have been missing in action a little too often. If you really scrutinize, you'll likely find that you were handed a warning early on — but chose to ignore it. Write down the signs and prepare a quick exit if you see them again.

Step #3 This one's hard, but you need to face the fact that these players are in your life because you allow them to be. Check your self-esteem. You say you're "reasonably well-adjusted," but I urge you to dig a little deeper at why you repeatedly allow men to run around on you. You're not a bad person, RR, but you need to change your thinking. You deserve to be treated better, but that will only happen if you put out a "no horseplay, no exceptions" vibe.

Look to family and friends for help in building your confidence and learning how to get what you want. If that doesn't work, you can always seek the services of a skilled life counselor or therapist. Taking ownership of your past and learning to ask for what you need in the present are the first steps in securing a brighter future. Step #5 While you're working on all this, don't stop dating.

But do be a little choosier. Use these dates to test-drive your preferences and get comfortable with your new outlook. Resist the temptation to jump right into a relationship with the first decent guy you meet, however.

Take time to get to know him and keep an eye out for your warning signs (without being too paranoid). Just take it easy and take each date as it comes, in its own moment. Who knows? You might find a good man instead of another bad boy. Keep me posted on your progress.

NOW I MUST SAY THIS IS ALL EASIER SAID THAN DONE! ESPECIALLY IF YOU HAVE A PATTERN OF DOING THIS, PATTERNS ARE HARD TO BREAK! YOU HAVE TO CONSCIOUSLY CHANGE YOUR OUTLOOK ON LIFE AND CHANGE YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS HABIT PATTERNS.

THAT IS WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO HELP OUR YOUNG WOMEN EARLY, TO LEARN SELF LOVE AND SELF RESPECT!