"ABSENT FATHERS & Angry Woman Syndrome"

Hello Audience its been 2 weeks since my last post!! I wanted to talk about young women and Absent Fathers, as well as the "When I express myself" I am now labeled as ANGRY, nice reverse psychology!

Many young women grow up without fathers, especially in the African American Community. It's unfortunate, because alot of men, disown or
"walk away" from their responsibilities of raising children.

Alot of times, the ones that don't walk away, want a trophies or extra credit for something that women have been doing for years.

I recently had the displeasure of having a conversation with a gentleman that I mentioned some behaviors that he was displaying, and he accused me of being angry, its just amazing to me that when dealing with men of color in particular, when your expressing your self or you become emotional you are viewed as "ANGRY".

It was also expressed that some did not approve of what I wrote about my mom in the original post! I have to tell you folks that my story is a story to reach out to young women & men that have experienced these common issues with parents moms, absent dads, dads that were there, ect. It is not to dwell on what happened, but to look at what happened and see as a way to improve your life in spite of "WHAT HAS HAPPENED" you don't have to remain stuck there! You can move on. But you have to continuously heal and do the work on yourself, many times, when your dealing with abusive mom or absent father, they never get the counseling or the help needed to be healthy and face theme selves. It is up to you to be healthy and decide whether or not having them in your space or in your life is what you want, because they are who they are, and more likely than not, they will NOT CHANGE. PERIOD.

It also shows how "slow" some people ARE in terms of being open minded and understanding the motive of why things may be the way they are.

As you all are aware, I NEVER had a father, I never knew what it was like to depend on a dad. I did not meet my "father figure" until adulthood. However my point is, many young women don't have dad's and grow up with out them in their lives. It does not mean that, they are bitter, angry, dysfunctional or any of those THINGS.

I have seen many times over young single moms raise beautiful children that are productive members of society and gone farther in life than kids that were raised with dads. I have also seen vice versa.

The issue that I have with all of this rambling that I am doing is that I have been surrounded by limited thinking individuals and accused of airing the family's business, I believe the quote was "We all have stories" does that mean it has to be exposed? The individual that said that, made me realize who and what I was dealing with.

For the young ladies that grew up without dads, its OK!! YOU HAVE MADE IT this far, and you can go on. Just know that if you already had issues with your immediate family or mom for instance, and you go looking for the man, are you prepared to deal with him and his current family issues and dysfunction, you could end up bringing in more baggage than you are willing to ever deal with.

Keep an open mind, don't expect anything, ask lots of questions, and continue the healing, because if he is like most of the situations that I have seen, it will be made to seem that when she brings up valid questions or concerns, it can be turned on her to seem like she is "Angry".

If your an adult its a slow process, if he is married, and the wife happens to be possessive or insecure, she will not necessarily be happy that you around! period its a fact, so don't go looking for this long lost family and being fully accepted right away, its not going to happen, not unless these people really have the love of the LORD in their hearts and are true true "Christians" which is hard to find these days. It's a disruption to their way of living and feeling and being and hear you come! its not easy, but It can work if you, don't jump in expecting anything.

I learned once again "The hard way" which I am clearly learning to "walk away" and learn easier, of course I had major parent issues, and it can really wreak havoc on ones life, but I have done so much emotional and mental work around it, does not mean that I am not human or feel what I feel.

When your dealing with limited minded, dysfunctional individuals! LOL, they will be the first to remind you that your "Angry" kind of a way to get the attention off of the lack of what they are not doing in their life or your life!

Just a thought. I will get more into detail later!